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Author Topic: EP719: A Hench Helps Her Villain, No Matter What  (Read 890 times)


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on: February 15, 2020, 05:40:59 PM
Escape Pod 719: A Hench Helps Her Villain, No Matter What

Author: Izzy Wasserstein
Narrator: Sandra Espinoza
Host: Tina Connolly
Audio Producer: Adam Pracht

Escape Pod 719: A Hench Helps Her Villain, No Matter What is an Escape Pod original.


The Lair’s intercom buzzes. “Hench, report to the interrogation room at once. Bring the restraints,” Night Mistress demands. For a moment I allow myself to hope, but when I get down to the deepest level, she’s got Patriotess drugged at her feet, and I know I’m a fool.

Hope isn’t the place of a henchperson. Hope will get you killed. Or, worse, out of a job.

I help Night Mistress restrain Patriotess in the center of the lead-walled room. I secure the heroine’s arms above her head. She’s still out of it, her body limp and her head hanging low, completely in Night Mistress’s power. My knees feel unsteady just thinking about it.

I check Patriotess for weapons. She has that whole thin-with-curves thing that only heroines seem to manage, but even that body can’t save her spandex blue-and-red onesie from looking ridiculous. Heroes will wear almost anything. They’ve got no real flair or sense of grandeur. I guess that’s why they’re not villains. Night Mistress practically radiates power in her black tux with silver trim, complete with a tight waistcoat and a daringly low-cut top. An operatic mask completes the perfectly-tailored look.

I feel stuffed into a glittering sequined gown. It’s a look designed for stage assistants with long legs and slim lines. My ex liked to call me “thick,” but I’m actually fat. This isn’t the costume I’d have chosen, but it’s the look Mistress wants in her henchwoman, which is good enough for me. I still remember her tone when she first ordered me to put it on. That memory keeps me warm at night.

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Jack Molesworth

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Reply #1 on: February 23, 2020, 04:30:49 PM
This story didn't tread any new ground that hasn't already been done much, much better by "The Venture Brothers" animated adult series.

Devi Lacroix

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Reply #2 on: April 04, 2020, 03:22:27 AM
I just made a new account, and to prevent it from being deleted this evening, I need to have a post history. Fair enough!

I say that as a preface, a way of explaining that I went through the forum's old threads to expressly seek out Izzy Wasserstein's story and compliment it. It was a fun story that could have jumped off the pages of a Silver Age comic book; I was happy to see it's possible to still write enjoyable stories like this, and that they are still published. As silly as it might sound, it inspired me to write more superheroes (and villains) in my own writing. If the point of writing is to provide a mixture of enjoyment and inspiration, then this was a huge success.


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Reply #3 on: June 17, 2020, 03:22:38 AM
I really like this story as an idea, but the execution didn't work for me. I just could not get engaged. Perhaps it needs to be a graphic novel?