Guilty Secrets

[Roney]

Science Fiction is mature enough to have a canon.  So 'fess up: which classics do you feel you ought to have read but somehow never got around to?  Which topics would you fail on your SF Geek application test?  Which conversations do you have to bluff your way through at the SF party?

(Moderators, please redact Amazon links to add the Escape Pod bit.)

Childhood's End - I so haven't read it that I don't even know what it's about, but I've heard the title so often (and spoken with such seriousness) that this seems on a par with not knowing who's the main character in the Gospels.  Is it just laughable to claim to be an SF geek when I've never read this?

Any Robert A Heinlein* - He's hugely influential, enduring popular, politically engaged and provocative.  He's right up my street.  But he somehow hasn't turned up on my bookshelf.

* Other than The Number of the Beast, which was apparently a bad place to start.

A Canticle For Leibowitz - It's a title so memorable it will probably stay with me longer than some books that I have read.  I've no idea what this one's about either.

Oh yeah -- it's not about books that you have no interest in.  They should be ones that you really truly do intend to make some time to track down and get stuck into some day.  Just somehow... not yet.  What are yours?

[gelee]

Ya know, I haven't read Childhood's End, or A Canticle for Leibowitz.  I guess you've got company there.
I've never read any of the Heinlein juveniles, but that's accounted for by my late entry in the genre.
The biggest ommision: Gibson.  Never read any of his stuff.

[Darwinist]

I've never read any Gibson, or any of the many Gene Wolfe Urth books.  So many people recommended Wolfe to me and I tried reading one of the books but I was lost after 100 pages and gave up.  Based on all of the positive reviews of his stuff I feel like I'm missing out on something.  May have to try again someday.

[DKT]

Heh.  Life's too short for guilt.  (And I'd have a lot of guilt built up about what SF classics I haven't read, most of Roney's list and then some.)

[Anarkey]

Science Fiction is mature enough to have a canon.  So 'fess up: which classics do you feel you ought to have read but somehow never got around to?  Which topics would you fail on your SF Geek application test?  Which conversations do you have to bluff your way through at the SF party?

Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card gets me a big F on the SF geek application test.  I hear good things about it.  I keep meaning to read it.  I just never get around to it.  I've also never read any Bester or any Cordwainer Smith, which seem like Heinlein scale omissions.  And though I love Dick and have read a lot of him, I've not read Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? and I feel like I ought to.

One book I've never read and probably never will and have some guilt over but not enough to actually change my intention about is Haldeman's Forever War.

I feel especially stupid in conversations about Delany's Dhalgren because it sounds like the sort of brainy book I should have read and haven't.

And my giant short story omission is "The Cold Equation". 

BTW, I loved A Canticle for Leibowitz but then I'm big into post-apocalyptic stuff.  Also love Wolfe, which is covered on many other threads.

[Kurt Faler]

I just read my first 2 Dick novels in the past month. And one wasn't even SF (the other was Do Androids Dream of Electric sheep). I'm also a bit ashamed that I have read all the Dresden Files books since the start of the year 

[shwankie]

I'll first redeem myself a weensy bit by first saying I have read Childhood's End (loved it), and lots of Heinlein. Now, onto the guilty embarrassment. I've never read:

-Do sheep dream of electric sheep?
-The Canticle for Liebowitz
-1984
-I've never read a single book by Asimov. I know, it's like a Christian who hasn't read the Bible, or a Jew who's not seen the Torah. I've just never gotten around to it....

And, now you all know my dirty little secrets. I am so ashamed.

[Kurt Faler]

-I've never read a single book by Asimov. I know, it's like a Christian who hasn't read the Bible, or a Jew who's not seen the Torah. I've just never gotten around to it....

And, now you all know my dirty little secrets. I am so ashamed.

Oh. My. GOD.

To be fair, I have tried to go back and reread some Asimov (I read all his major novels and short stories while in high school). As an adult in this increasingly cynical world, its hard to buy the naivety of his work and get past it. I'm sure if Issac were around still he would blame the world for this and demand it promptly shape up 

[Tango Alpha Delta]

-I've never read a single book by Asimov. I know, it's like a Christian who hasn't read the Bible, or a Jew who's not seen the Torah. I've just never gotten around to it....

And, now you all know my dirty little secrets. I am so ashamed.

Oh. My. GOD.

To be fair, I have tried to go back and reread some Asimov (I read all his major novels and short stories while in high school). As an adult in this increasingly cynical world, its hard to buy the naivety of his work and get past it. I'm sure if Issac were around still he would blame the world for this and demand it promptly shape up 

But Isaac is in Heaven now....    (Tad goes into a corner to giggle with Kurt Vonnegut over his very amusing Asimov eulogy*, yet again.  And so it goes...)


I'm resisting the urge to sidetrack the thread and offer recommendations (definitely read Ender's Game - it's pretty quick and worth it; so is Forever War...and for Heinlein, I really loved Stranger In a Strange Land when I first read it, but...)  ....but I'm not resisting hard enough.


Shwankie, I will now shock you in a fundamental way that ought to match my shock at your Asimov confession:  I have never read Terry Pratchett.

I HAVE read Good Omens; and I checked out the very first Discworld once, but had to turn it in unread because life pooped in my cereal that month.  So many, many people tell me that I would love his stuff, and I really should go get it, but... I just haven't.

Now, I'm going to shut down the computer and go to bed before I take Anarkey's comment about Dick WAY out of context, and get myself (rightfully) beaten about the head and face with an unread copy of Gormenghast.

Gooodnight, everybody!




*I couldn't find a reliable link to the quote from "God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian", so here it is:

I am honorary president of the American Humanist Association, having succeeded the late, great, spectacularly prolific writer and scientist, Dr. Isaac Asimov in that essentially functionless capacity. At an A.H.A. memorial service for my predecessor I said, "Isaac is up in Heaven now." That was the funniest thing I could have said to an audience of humanists. It rolled them in the aisles. Mirth! Several minutes had to pass before something resembling solemnity could be restored.

[Darwinist]

-1984
-I've never read a single book by Asimov. I know, it's like a Christian who hasn't read the Bible, or a Jew who's not seen the Torah. I've just never gotten around to it....

Not getting around to it is my biggest obstacle - there is only so much time in a day and so much stuff I want to read. 

Most people I know were forced to read 1984 in a High School English class (that and Fahrenheit 451 and Brave New World).

The original Foundation Trilogy by Asimov is a fast, easy read on a rainy weekend.  Actually, the same could be said for many of his other novels like End of Eternity and The Gods Themselves.   

[AarrowOM]

I've never read Brave New World or anything by Phillip K. Dick, Alfred Bester, or William Gibson (I have a copy of Neuromancer but haven't opened it once).  I have read, however, A Canticle For Leibowitz, Childhood's End and The Gods Themselves (among many others), all of which I enjoyed.

[stePH]

Ya know, I haven't read Childhood's End, or A Canticle for Leibowitz.  I guess you've got company there.

Me too!
[/aol]

As for what else I probably "should" have read but haven't, I suppose there's Jules Verne and H. G. Welles.  I read 1984 voluntarily in my late teens or early twenties, but have yet to read Brave New World, so I suppose there's another.

My real "guilty secret" is that I enjoy Elron Hubbard's fiction.  In fact I rank Battlefield Earth among my top favorite novels (along with Cherryh's Cyteen, King's The Stand, and I know there's a couple of others that I've just forgotten since all my books are still packed up from the recent move.)

[Planish]

I like to bug people by pointing out that "1984" is just a four-digit number. The famous novel by George Orwell was titled Nineteen Eighty-Four.

Never read any Orson Scott Card, Terry Pratchett, or Piers Anthony,

I think the Hitchhikers Guide Tri-tetra-pentalogy went sharply downhill after the first novel.
So did Dune.

I keep confusing Frederick Pohl (read lots of his, still waiting for Gateway the movie) with Poul Anderson (can't recall many).

I have yet to see Episode III of Star Wars.

I quite enjoyed Olaf Stapledon's "The Star Maker" and "The Last and First Men" way back when I read them. (early 1970s-ish)

Never watched a whole episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer all during it's first run, thinking it was a stupid premise. Then after seeing a New Years Day marathon of them (after the series wound up) on cable, my wife and I started borrowing and/or buying the boxed sets.

I began reading The Hobbit and LoTR in high school (late '60s) merely because a hawt girl recommended them. Before that, my nearest exposure to fantasy literature was probably Bullfinch's Mythology and some version of Grimm's Fairy Tales.

I don't think very much of cyberpunk as a genre (especially in movies), even though I like most of William Gibson's work.

I have purchased and read more novels based on ST-TNG than I allow visitors to see on my bookshelf.

I have never read any of the Lensman series.

[Kurt Faler]

Planish reminded me of this little secret: I have never been able to finish the LOTR books. I don't like them. I've gotten as far as The Hobbit and then the first book, and just can't get into it.

[Tango Alpha Delta]

Planish reminded me of this little secret: I have never been able to finish the LOTR books. I don't like them. I've gotten as far as The Hobbit and then the first book, and just can't get into it.

We're not far apart on that one, KF.  I loved the Hobbit when I was a kid, but couldn't get more than a third of the way into Fellowship.

Then, when the movies were coming out, I found an omnibus edition of the trilogy at the library, and decided that I was going to elf up and read it.  Now, I like to read while soaking in a nice, hot bath.  It's relaxing, and my own personal hobbits actually tend to leave me alone in there.  I was about halfway through Two Towers when I started this particular bath.  Since it was a very heavy book (despite being paperback), my arms got really really tired as I read.  I decided not to risk getting it wet by dozing off or dropping it in the tub, so I reached up to set it on the lid of the toilet...

But someone had left the lid up, and...   *PLooP*    Soggy Hobbits.

I haven't had the heart to try to finish the books since then.

(If you don't want to know.... don't read this part.  But for those of you who want closure:

The end of the story is that I fished it out of the mercifully clean water, and stacked about 20 heavy textbooks and dictionaries on top of it for three days so that it would dry flat.  My wife looked up some kind of home anti-mildew solution for protecting paper on one of her scrapbooking sites, and we treated the pages.  And I try not to think about it when I check out a book that looks like it's been through the rain forest.)

[Listener]

I think the Hitchhikers Guide Tri-tetra-pentalogy went sharply downhill after the first novel.
So did Dune.

Actually, the fifth Dune wasn't too bad, nor was the sixth.  In fact, after reading the 5th and 6th, I really started to get into the mold of only using "said" or not tagging dialogue directly at all.  One of my problems with the otherwise-great stories in many Star Trek novels is that the editors continue to require the authors to use words other than "said".

[Listener]

I only read "Nineteen Eighty-Four" and "Brave New World" last year, though I'd seen both films.

I've never read "I Am Legend".

I've never seen "Schindler's List" (which I suppose one could consider a horror film).

I actually still really like "Star Trek: The Motion Picture".

The only Asimov I've ever read was "Nightfall", and that was on EP.

I tend to stay away from the broad, sweeping SF epics that populate our store shelves, as well as the space-adventure books (Elizabeth Moon, David Drake, et al), because I'm afraid to get into a series that started so long ago and has so much back-catalogue.

[Holden]

I've never read 1984 Nineteen Eighty-Four either.

[Darwinist]

The end of the story is that I fished it out of the mercifully clean water, and stacked about 20 heavy textbooks and dictionaries on top of it for three days so that it would dry flat.  My wife looked up some kind of home anti-mildew solution for protecting paper on one of her scrapbooking sites, and we treated the pages.  And I try not to think about it when I check out a book that looks like it's been through the rain forest.)

Glad to hear  it survived.  I would've given up on the beast, I would've thought that a book that big would take forever to dry. 

I decided to read the whole LOTR saga after seeing the Fellowship movie. It was a not an easy read but I'm glad I plowed through it.  It was interesting watching the last two movies and comparing them to the books.   

[gelee]

Hmmm.  I didn't think of it earlier, but I've never read any Dick either.
On the fantasy front, my deficiencies are boundless:  I've never ready any Mcaffrey, Lackey, LeGuin, and I disliked everything I ever tried from Terry Brooks.

[Anarkey]

On the fantasy front, my deficiencies are boundless:  I've never ready any Mcaffrey, Lackey, LeGuin,

Lack of LeGuin is a Science Fiction deficiency as well as a fantasy failing.

[AarrowOM]

And I try not to think about it when I check out a book that looks like it's been through the rain forest.

Not to make you feel worse, but as someone who has actually dragged books through a rainforest, they surprisingly don't end up looking all that bad.  The only real problem is that the glue denatures (the bindings fall apart) and there is a faint smell of mildew that you can't get rid of (though storing in sealed bags with baking soda and silica gel helps a lot).

[shwankie]

Shwankie, I will now shock you in a fundamental way that ought to match my shock at your Asimov confession:  I have never read Terry Pratchett.

You really are a heretic. I am shocked. Appalled. Taken aback, even. TAD, you fooled me into thinking you were a true geek. Currently, the saving grace of my good opinion of you is I had the same thought about Anarkey's Dick comment. For now, I'll forgive your serious Pratchettlessness, but if you tell me you actually liked any of O.S. Card's 3rd or 4th books in any series, I am afraid I'll have to take to heart you comment of beatings about the head and neck with Gormenghast.

Um...on that note, I secretly like two of Hubbard's books, too: "The Mirror of Her Dreams" and "A Man Rides Through." They are the closest thing to smarmy romance I've ever read. Let the beatings begin?

[stePH]

I think the Hitchhikers Guide Tri-tetra-pentalogy went sharply downhill after the first novel.

I think it was only a slight decline from the first to the second, which recycled most of the good bits of the second radio series and the latter half of the first series.  It went steep when the third novel came out, and dropped so far that I call the fifth book "Mostly Worthless".

[Tango Alpha Delta]

On the fantasy front, my deficiencies are boundless:  I've never ready any Mcaffrey, Lackey, LeGuin,

Lack of LeGuin is a Science Fiction deficiency as well as a fantasy failing.

I heartily concur; depending on whether your mood is leaning SF ("Left Hand of Darkness") or Fantasy ("Earthsea") you should remedy LeGuin-lessness, post haste!

(though storing in sealed bags with baking soda and silica gel helps a lot).

Yes!  Baking Soda - thanks AarowOM!  That was definitely a key ingredient (we were too poor at the time to afford much else... certainly not a replacement copy of the snazzy LOTR Omnibus sporting Elijah Wood on the cover).

You really are a heretic.

(Nicest thing anyone has said all week!)   

For now, I'll forgive your serious Pratchettlessness, but if you tell me you actually liked any of O.S. Card's 3rd or 4th books in any series, I am afraid I'll have to take to heart you comment of beatings about the head and neck with Gormenghast.

Um...on that note, I secretly like two of Hubbard's books, too: "The Mirror of Her Dreams" and "A Man Rides Through." They are the closest thing to smarmy romance I've ever read. Let the beatings begin?

I take perverse exception to the implication that I am NOT a geek!  If watching every Star Trek episode doesn't qualify me, having children who build "Delta Flyers" out of their legos should!  Besides, I need something to look forward to after retirement... if I haven't read Mr. P in the ~20 years between now and then!

I think the only series I've ever read which continued to satsify beyond the 2nd/3rd book (a trilogy, if it's good, registers as "a story" in my mind) was Bujold's Vorkosigan series (as close as I tend to come to smarmy romance).  Asimov's Robot stories could be viewed as a whole series... but they kind of group naturally into threes.  Peirs Anthony's Xanth stuff was entertaining until age 15 (too many icky sexual innuendos after a while); and his Incarnations of Immortality began to wear on me after realizing it was the same story each time (give or take).

And I'm sure I'm not the first to notice, but when you read Asimov's stuff in somewhat chronological order, it's amusing to see how the style changes according to the taste of the times.  Over the years, his dialogue seemed to pass from mostly stiff scientific discourse or awkward educational film-style "chit-chat" to incorporating attempts at slang, romance, and even (gasp) minor swearing!  I've heard some readers complain about the style of the old masters, but because of Isaac's longevity, I find it endearing to see him trying to adapt over the decades.