A very standard, stiff story I'm afraid. Hard to point out any mistakes, but hard to point anything special either.
The flagship of this story is the message, and that's exactly the problem. It's a good message, but the same cautionary tale has been made over and over again. Off the top of my head, I can name The Lobster (2015) and Hang the DJ (2017).
Another thing that made the story non-functional to me was its lack of dystopism; it just feels like a normal day in real life.
I think that the MC telling that she worked in the restaurant not because she was good at it refers to the relationships, that not always fit the best people together.
Jack Powell reminded me of William H. Macy's character in Magnolia (1999). Was it a reference? If not, it was a hell of a coincidence.
There's nothing special about the narration either. But this is just my impression after listening to some other amazing narrated stories.
« Last Edit: January 13, 2021, 12:38:39 PM by Álex Souza »
I just wanna go pro before AI takes over and the bot dogs from Boston Dynamics kill us all.