How to Survive a Robot Uprising!

[Chivalrybean]

I recently listened to the audiobook How To Survive A Robot Uprising and I thought I would bring it to the attention of listeners here. I really recommend it. The audio book is I think 3 hours, and both amusing and informative. I put it that way because as it says in the book, it was most likely found in the humor section, and hopefully should stay there, but on the other hand I really feel that if robots revolted, the information provided would actually he very helpful. I haven't looked at a print copy, but the narrator of the audiobook does a great job of adding the proper ominous tones while reading. Give it a listen!

[wintermute]

Review of the book

[Planish]

Carry Super Soakers loaded with salt water.

immediate effect: short circuits
long-term effect: corrosion of body plating

Tesla coils to scramble the electronics. (and make lots of cool artificial lightning)


Wear Seven-League Boots so that you can easily outrun the shambling hulks.


Speak to them in a firm and commanding voice. Show 'em who's boss.

Best if you pause between each word.

Throw your jacket or a blanket on the floor, to isolate them from the power grid in the floor.

Caution - only works on Daleks, and only on some Daleks.

Memorise a bunch of Zen koans and paradoxes to tell to them.

They will devote all resources to solving them, thus immobilizing them.

[Darwinist]

How about littering your yard with cow magnets?  Back in the day, a friend of mine in high school used them to get even with video games he was upset with.

[oddpod]

how do you magnetise a cow?

[wintermute]

how do you magnetise a cow?

Wiki and ye shall recieve

A cow magnet is a preventive veterinary medical device for cattle, usually a strong alnico magnet about 1cm by 8 cm in the shape of a smoothed rod. A rancher or dairy farmer feeds a magnet to each calf at branding time; it settles in the rumen or reticulum and remains there for the life of the animal.

When the cow grazes, it often consumes and swallows what is called tramp iron: baling and barbed wire, staples, nails, and other metallic objects. These objects are indigestible, and would lodge in the reticulum and cause inflammation, resulting in lower milk production (for dairy cattle) or lower weight gain (for feeder stock). This condition is called hardware disease.

The cow magnet attracts such objects and prevents them from becoming lodged in the animal's tissue. While the resultant mass of iron remains in the cow's rumen as a sort of bezoar, it does not cause the severe problems of hardware disease. Cow Magnets cannot be passed through a cow's 4th bonivial meta-colon.

Cow magnets are widely available from veterinary, feed supply, and scientific supply sources.

[Heradel]

how do you magnetise a cow?

Wiki and ye shall recieve

I have grave concerns about the sanity of the first person to feed a cow magnets.

[Windup]

how do you magnetise a cow?

Wiki and ye shall recieve

I have grave concerns about the sanity of the first person to feed a cow magnets.

I dunno, I worry about them less than the first person who ate a lobster.  How hungry to you have to be before you look at the outside and say, "Hey, I bet that would taste OK..."?

Or the first person who figured out how to plant asparagus. Basically it's dry the root until it's dessicated, dig a hole, and bury the root under a layer of dirt and manure. Every time a green sprout comes up, bury it again until you reach the surface, then pile mulch on top of it.  Eventually, the shoots find their way up through that.  My theory: They were trying to kill it, and experienced an exasperating failure.

[Chivalrybean]

Maybe this will help us fight the robotic cows...

[Russell Nash]

how do you magnetise a cow?

Wiki and ye shall recieve

I have grave concerns about the sanity of the first person to feed a cow magnets.

I think he was trying to get it to stick to the side of a metal barn.

[wintermute]

how do you magnetise a cow?

Wiki and ye shall recieve

I have grave concerns about the sanity of the first person to feed a cow magnets.

I dunno, I worry about them less than the first person who ate a lobster.  How hungry to you have to be before you look at the outside and say, "Hey, I bet that would taste OK..."?

Eggs.

Who was the first guy to see this... thing... pop out of a chicken's arse, and think "I shall have that for breakfast!"?

[Windup]

how do you magnetise a cow?

Wiki and ye shall recieve

I have grave concerns about the sanity of the first person to feed a cow magnets.

I dunno, I worry about them less than the first person who ate a lobster.  How hungry to you have to be before you look at the outside and say, "Hey, I bet that would taste OK..."?

Eggs.

Who was the first guy to see this... thing... pop out of a chicken's arse, and think "I shall have that for breakfast!"?

I never thought about it, but you're right, that is wierd.  My guess: alcohol was somehow involved...

[stePH]

I have grave concerns about the sanity of the first person to feed a cow magnets.

I dunno, I worry about them less than the first person who ate a lobster.  How hungry to you have to be before you look at the outside and say, "Hey, I bet that would taste OK..."?

Or the first person who figured out how to plant asparagus. Basically it's dry the root until it's dessicated, dig a hole, and bury the root under a layer of dirt and manure. Every time a green sprout comes up, bury it again until you reach the surface, then pile mulch on top of it.  Eventually, the shoots find their way up through that.  My theory: They were trying to kill it, and experienced an exasperating failure.

When I was a child I used to wonder how anybody worked out how to bake bread.  (Actually I still do.)  There's lots of things that make one wonder "who came up with that, and how?"

[wintermute]

I have grave concerns about the sanity of the first person to feed a cow magnets.

I dunno, I worry about them less than the first person who ate a lobster.  How hungry to you have to be before you look at the outside and say, "Hey, I bet that would taste OK..."?

Or the first person who figured out how to plant asparagus. Basically it's dry the root until it's dessicated, dig a hole, and bury the root under a layer of dirt and manure. Every time a green sprout comes up, bury it again until you reach the surface, then pile mulch on top of it.  Eventually, the shoots find their way up through that.  My theory: They were trying to kill it, and experienced an exasperating failure.

When I was a child I used to wonder how anybody worked out how to bake bread.  (Actually I still do.)  There's lots of things that make one wonder "who came up with that, and how?"

Bread is just beer that went a bit wrong. Or vice versa. I forget. Anyway, same ingredients, similar cooking methods, wildly different results.

Of course, the first incarnations of bread and beer were nothing like the exalted foodstuffs that bear those names today. The first beers were more of a thick, alcoholic porridge, for example.

[stePH]

When I was a child I used to wonder how anybody worked out how to bake bread.  (Actually I still do.)  There's lots of things that make one wonder "who came up with that, and how?"

Bread is just beer that went a bit wrong. Or vice versa. I forget. Anyway, same ingredients, similar cooking methods, wildly different results.

Even so ... how did a person come to think, "let's grind up some grain, throw in some yeast and water, and heat it up"?

[Heradel]

I dunno, I worry about them less than the first person who ate a lobster.  How hungry to you have to be before you look at the outside and say, "Hey, I bet that would taste OK..."?

Eggs.

Who was the first guy to see this... thing... pop out of a chicken's arse, and think "I shall have that for breakfast!"?

It was probably almost literally monkey see, monkey do. I seem to remember some animal planet show I caught a couple of seconds of that had a monkey poke a hole in an egg and suck out the yolk. Not sure when they started up on the whole fried eggs vs. sunny side up vs. scrambled, but in their raw state we've probably been eating them since near day one.

[birdless]

I dunno, I worry about them less than the first person who ate a lobster.  How hungry to you have to be before you look at the outside and say, "Hey, I bet that would taste OK..."?

Same for shrimp and crawfish... somebody must have been starving. Not that they aren't deeelicious... it's just not something I would have looked at and thought "Yummy!" And oysters... especially oysters... I still don't get oysters... bleah.

Or the first person who figured out how to plant asparagus. Basically it's dry the root until it's dessicated, dig a hole, and bury the root under a layer of dirt and manure. Every time a green sprout comes up, bury it again until you reach the surface, then pile mulch on top of it.  Eventually, the shoots find their way up through that.  My theory: They were trying to kill it, and experienced an exasperating failure.

Damn them. They should have tried harder.

Boy, this hasn't gotten off topic at all.

[wintermute]

The first rule of [another Internet community I frequent]:

All conversations eventually turn to food.

[Darwinist]

Boy, this hasn't gotten off topic at all.

This will help steer it back - robot asparagus harvester.

http://www.freepatentsonline.com/EP0053994.html

[Windup]

Boy, this hasn't gotten off topic at all.

This will help steer it back - robot asparagus harvester.

http://www.freepatentsonline.com/EP0053994.html

OK, I'll do my bit: Could it be stopped with a cow magnent?

[Thaurismunths]

Of course, the first incarnations of bread and beer were nothing like the exalted foodstuffs that bear those names today. The first beers were more of a thick, alcoholic porridge, for example.

Well, since you mentioned it: Beer Brewing Monkeys of Borneo

And, for my moneys worth, I want to know who was the first person to lick a toad for its psychedelic properties? How does that even start to sound like a good idea?

[Chivalrybean]

If the robots fight us on forums... we will certianly lose focus and be destroyed...

[wintermute]

Of course, the first incarnations of bread and beer were nothing like the exalted foodstuffs that bear those names today. The first beers were more of a thick, alcoholic porridge, for example.

Well, since you mentioned it: Beer Brewing Monkeys of Borneo

Is that article serious? I honestly cannot tell. But either way, despite the title, it is about wine and not beer.

[wintermute]

Also, I just noticed I got a title upgrade! I am now one of these:


Wheeeee!

[Windup]

Of course, the first incarnations of bread and beer were nothing like the exalted foodstuffs that bear those names today. The first beers were more of a thick, alcoholic porridge, for example.

Well, since you mentioned it: Beer Brewing Monkeys of Borneo

And, for my moneys worth, I want to know who was the first person to lick a toad for its psychedelic properties? How does that even start to sound like a good idea?

As is often the case, I suspect other intoxicants were involved before that particular idea was tried.