EP180: Navy Brat

[lieffeil]

With this one, Steve's description actually threw me off. When he said it was "YAMiLSF" (is that what we're calling it? That's the kind of acronym that creates physical anguish as you say it.), I was intrigued. But as soon as the protagonist gave her reasoning for not wearing the navy armbands, there was this rush of wistfulness. I suddenly wished the story had started some time earlier, so that this character would not feel so distant, just suddenly the Rebel, with no history or detail.

The reader was told what she felt, what she thought, what she did, but there was very little communication directly from Marie herself. In fact, just now I had to look up her name before I wrote that, because I forgot what it was . I just stopped seeing her as a person.

Which... wait. There was that one line, about how to join the military, you had to give up some of yourself to become part of something bigger.
And suddenly this story got ten times more interesting to me.

[Windup]

With this one, Steve's description actually threw me off. When he said it was "YAMiLSF" (is that what we're calling it? That's the kind of acronym that creates physical anguish as you say it.), I was intrigued. But as soon as the protagonist gave her reasoning for not wearing the navy armbands, there was this rush of wistfulness. I suddenly wished the story had started some time earlier, so that this character would not feel so distant, just suddenly the Rebel, with no history or detail.

The reader was told what she felt, what she thought, what she did, but there was very little communication directly from Marie herself. In fact, just now I had to look up her name before I wrote that, because I forgot what it was . I just stopped seeing her as a person.

Which... wait. There was that one line, about how to join the military, you had to give up some of yourself to become part of something bigger.
And suddenly this story got ten times more interesting to me.

I think it's a convention of the genre, and probably one of the reasons it generally doesn't work for me.  A recent episode of the Writing Excuses podcast that dealt with YA/Juvenile/Children's books said that one of the "markers" for boundaries in fiction for young people is the self-awareness of the characters.  In children's books, stuff just happens, or for very superficial reasons.  Books for older children get a bit more internal dialog, and YA a bit more, but still not what you would expect from an adult novel.

[sjg1978]

I am puzzled though why the author would assume that 9000 plus people would suddenly give up their atheistic heritage and convert to admiralism. 
I understand that governments have utilized religions since the dawn of creation to maintain control.  But a civilization that as a precept decided against religions to apparently turn religious I do not get.     

I don't think that the 9,000 people suddenly turned to their religious admiralism. I think it was a change brought about over the last 350 years so gradually that nobody really noticed it.

Societies tend to want to maintain the status quo. So over time this ship had separated into two peacefully coexisting societies. One that was preparing to colonize a new world, and one that was preparing to travel across space forever. But our travelers have always thought that they were colonizers, and just didn't realize it. Now that they are presented a choice they decide they'd rather chase after their god than to settle down.

As far as the computer being up and ready for the right person to hit the "reveal the truth" button, that seems entirely plausible to me. From what I've seen of today's home computers, just turn it on and you're automatically logged in and ready to go after minutes. As far as more secure computers go, I've seen too many post-its with passwords.

If you can teach your children enough respect, they won't go breaking into the admiral's quarters. Even on a dare, because that's something that their friends wouldn't dare them to. And with the amount of respect that built up for the admiral, among the colonizers, and the god-like devotion among the travelers, it's plausible that they would all leave his office alone.

[McToad]

This one didn't do it for me, primarily because it wasn't a story so much as an idea for a story. 

I found the central conceit interesting, the character somewhat appealing (though terribly flat), but the story isn't a story--its the first chapter of a book, and a summary of the denouement of that book.  The interesting conflict and adventure is omitted.  Worse, the plot's entire resolution hinges on an off-screen deus-ex-machina that is artificially slipped in.  I mean, do we really believe that there is a recording that plays when you enter an unlocked, easily identified room, and that in hundreds of years no one has ever see it?  Or that on ship of 9000 people, no one ever looks outside, or goes outside, or looks at any instrumentation or sensors that might reveal the planet they are orbiting?

It just seems silly and trite.

On the plus side, the core idea is good and as a first contact novel I would read this and probably like it, but as a short story this just doesn't work.

[Unblinking]

Come to think of it, Ender hacked into the tablet PCs in that novel, too. Still okay.

That made sense in the context of Ender's Game.  Ender realizes that the tablet's are actually designed to be hackable by smarter children.  That's another way for the people in charge to see who is more capable.  Ender was the first to figure it out, and it was one of the ways that set him apart early on.

[Unblinking]

I liked many of the ideas in this story.  While I tend to snore at military SF, I didn't have a problem with that aspect of it.  I loved the concept of the Admiral changing from man to unofficial deity over the course of several centuries.  While I found it rather implausible that they've just been hanging out in orbit for centuries, it was a cool idea anyway.

What really bothered me is the ease with which she discovered the truth of the Admiral, and that no one else had gone in there for 350 years.  That ruined the entire story for me.  I could believe it of most adults if they're raised to the religion, but this is a generation ship, so by definition you're going to have people of a variety of ages all the time, including many generations of teens.  Many teens are going to have the urge to rebel against their parents teachings to define their individuality.  This is generally true, but I would think it's even more true when you're all forced to live in a tin can together with nowhere else to go, and are forced to wear uniforms and go through drills which are intended to homogenize the population.  One of these teens is bound to go try the door at some point over the centuries timespan.  All it would take is one.  What makes her special?  her beliefs are different from the general population but I hardly think that implies that she is the only one to think the way she does that has ever lived on this ship--I find it seriously hard to believe.  Even if no one else had really been curious about the door, I'm certain that some pair of horny teens would've slipped in there to find some privacy at the very least--what better place to make out than the one room which is unlocked but completely taboo to all the adults.

They didn't post guards by the door.  They didn't have video surveillance at the door.  They didn't lock the door.  They didn't even bother to turn the holo-recording of the Admiral explaining his identity off, for goodness sake!  Worst implementation of a conspiracy ever!!!

It also bugged me how fast the negotiations were glossed over at the end, but that was just a little bump in the style, not a complete plausibility hole.