when the end comes !

[gelee]

its a good short term plan but you nead a way to suport youre sellf in the long run and stares are farly tuff to demolish so to work you nead a bit of prep time.
can you take out the stares be for the undead take out the windows and doors ?

i live in a terice house , so ethan when the stares are gone its not to hard to get in to the other houses on the streat thrue the loft spaces, giving me an escape route and scavenging posabilatys

Ah, but therein lies your demise.  Zombies always always ALWAYS find the secret back door way in. 

[gelee]

There's a serious bit of irony to the fact that the zombie thread just will not die.

Ya know, I saw it sort of lingering at the bottom of the page.  I'd been thinking about posting this question to the forum for a while.
Lazarus, come forth:  Zombie thread is re-re-reanimated.

Depends on who you ask


So Jesus was into santeria?

[Chodon]

its a good short term plan but you nead a way to suport youre sellf in the long run and stares are farly tuff to demolish so to work you nead a bit of prep time.
can you take out the stares be for the undead take out the windows and doors ?

i live in a terice house , so ethan when the stares are gone its not to hard to get in to the other houses on the streat thrue the loft spaces, giving me an escape route and scavenging posabilatys

I think the best way would be to go with retractable stairs (like to an attic).  It gives the option of escape, but as long as you keep it shut zombies will not be able to get in.  Having an escape route that would not require climbing would be a big mistake.  Zombies always find their way in.

I suppose the merit of this plan depends on if we're talking supernatural zombies that will not eventually die/rot on their own and will continue to try to eat you until they are mere skeletons or more conventional 28 days later zombies that will eventually dehydrate and starve.  The latter would be much easier to wait out.  I, personally, think they are also the more likely form of zombie attack. 

[oddpod]

what if its a "plan 9" tipe situashon whare the zombes are just the van gard of an alian invashon?

[Chodon]

what if its a "plan 9" tipe situashon whare the zombes are just the van gard of an alian invashon?

If the aliens can't climb I should be okay.  If they can I would probably be screwed (after I ran out of ammo).

[Thaurismunths]

I have to say that the best zombie survival technique I read was one presented in The Zombie Survival Guide.

1. Bring food, water, guns, family upstairs (not in that order).
2. Grab axe
3. Destroy stairs

Everyone knows zombies can't climb, so you'll be safe until you starve to death.  Perfect!

That's faulty logic. Zombies can't climb, but they can rip the foundation out from under you.

[Chodon]

I have to say that the best zombie survival technique I read was one presented in The Zombie Survival Guide.

1. Bring food, water, guns, family upstairs (not in that order).
2. Grab axe
3. Destroy stairs

Everyone knows zombies can't climb, so you'll be safe until you starve to death.  Perfect!

That's faulty logic. Zombies can't climb, but they can rip the foundation out from under you.

They aren't smart enough for that.  They would be so consumed by their ravenous hunger they would just mull around underneath my attic stairs groping for me and waiting for me to slip up.  Not going to happen, shambling hordes!  Go eat my jerk neighbor!  Tell him to cut his grass while you're at it!

[Tango Alpha Delta]

I have to say that the best zombie survival technique I read was one presented in The Zombie Survival Guide.

1. Bring food, water, guns, family upstairs (not in that order).
2. Grab axe
3. Destroy stairs

Everyone knows zombies can't climb, so you'll be safe until you starve to death.  Perfect!

That's faulty logic. Zombies can't climb, but they can rip the foundation out from under you.

They aren't smart enough for that.  They would be so consumed by their ravenous hunger they would just mull around underneath my attic stairs groping for me and waiting for me to slip up.  Not going to happen, shambling hordes!  Go eat my jerk neighbor!  Tell him to cut his grass while you're at it!

Okay, I need to go to bed... now I am picturing you (an animated assault rival with eyes on the stock and a long-barrelled nose) shaking your fist cantankerously at a horde of zombies (who all wore ugly turtlenecks and resembled James Lipton for some reason) as they shuffle around drinking hot, spiced wine (mulled, of course) ... and you're upset about the grass? ...

Maybe I'm just wrung out from a long week of non-stop thinkin', but I couldn't stop laughing.

(I had to field a long series of management questions, lawyer questions, newbie questions, and immediate supervisor questions ALL about the same thing... and then blog about it and advertise the answers I found back to ALL those people again to make sure they understood... all in time to include it in the promotion package.)

But first... one or two burning thoughts...

[Chodon]

Okay, I need to go to bed... now I am picturing you (an animated assault rival with eyes on the stock and a long-barrelled nose) shaking your fist cantankerously at a horde of zombies (who all wore ugly turtlenecks and resembled James Lipton for some reason) as they shuffle around drinking hot, spiced wine (mulled, of course) ... and you're upset about the grass? ...

Maybe I'm just wrung out from a long week of non-stop thinkin', but I couldn't stop laughing.

(I had to field a long series of management questions, lawyer questions, newbie questions, and immediate supervisor questions ALL about the same thing... and then blog about it and advertise the answers I found back to ALL those people again to make sure they understood... all in time to include it in the promotion package.)

But first... one or two burning thoughts...

With the stories you're coming up with between feeding my corpse into a wood chipper and me telling the zombies eating my neighbor I feel like I should be getting some sort of royalties.

Quick story on my jackass neighbor so you'll understand why I want the undead to feast on his brains: The day I moved into my first house I saw my neighbor driving his tractor onto my yard, loading it full of topsoil, and carting it onto his property.  All in all he carted off about 3 yards before I went to talk to him (hadn't even met this guy yet).  The topsoil was worth about $60.  Not a fortune, but to have just made the biggest purchase of their life to see someone stealing it in front of me got me pretty worked up.  I told him to put it back.  He told me he didn't think I had moved in yet.  I told him I did and to put the dirt back.  He said it was on his property now so shove off.  I told him he was an ass and we left it at that.  I thought about calling the cops, but as the newbie to the neighborhood it wasn't worth $60 to be labeled the guy who calls the cops, so I let it go.  If zombie hordes ever invade I'm leaving a trail of meat to his front door.  If I die before that I might have my wife do the wood chipper gag on his house.  I can hear her saying "He's on your property now, prick! Clean that up!"

Oh, and he doesn't cut his grass...

[oddpod]

see so ethan the zombe apocolips can have a sillver lineing!

[Tango Alpha Delta]

see so ethan the zombe apocolips can have a sillver lineing!

There's your title: Ethan, the Zombie Apocalypse

(oddpod, have I ever mentioned how much this half-assed linguist appreciates your missives?  Well, I does!)

[oddpod]

see so ethan the zombe apocolips can have a sillver lineing!

There's your title: Ethan, the Zombie Apocalypse

(oddpod, have I ever mentioned how much this half-assed linguist appreciates your missives?  Well, I does!)

lol, thats a good thing yes?

[oddpod]

the world record atempt for bigest zombi gathering was ace fun!
we dident quiat make the record(900 short) but we all dresed up and had a fab time, my  kids made a film "intervew whith a zombe" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYNwT6Hawss

ethan bumped in to psudopods intreped host al and descust the finer points of zombi survivel

[oddpod]

that me buy the way

[Heradel]

Someone took this thread way too Srsly: http://www.sltrib.com/news/ci_8827758

[Tango Alpha Delta]

Someone took this thread way too Srsly: http://www.sltrib.com/news/ci_8827758

I hate it when city councils get all insouciant... if that's not an ad hominem, of course.

[oddpod]

ace

[Thaurismunths]

So you're driving down the highway in an 8 passenger van just after the outbreak happens. It's just you, the roads are passable, and you have enough gas: Who, if anyone, do you take with you when you head to your place of fortification?

For me:
Shwankie - knows all kinds of food stuff (nutrition, preservation, foraging,), good with a gun, is in great physical health, and I'd rather her be on my side than the zombies (see "skull faced boy").
Dan - Trustworthy, good with guns, capable hunter, in great physical health.
Shea - Built like a tank, good thinker and leader, and has a lot of back-woods knowledge.
Badgermonkey - Trustworthy, indestructible, runs on pixie-stix, and we've been preparing for the zombie onslaught for years.
Mrs. Badgermonkey - I'm more afraid of her on a good day then Badgermonkey when his sugar crashes.
Rianna - Trustworthy, accomplished martial artist, good physical shape, fears no zombie, and she's crush my larynx if I didn't.
Mr. Rianna (aka. Malichi) - good fighter, leader, good physical shape, martial artist, and Rianna would crush my larynx if I didn't.

[Tango Alpha Delta]

So you're driving down the highway in an 8 passenger van just after the outbreak happens. It's just you, the roads are passable, and you have enough gas: Who, if anyone, do you take with you when you head to your place of fortification?

For me:
Shwankie - knows all kinds of food stuff (nutrition, preservation, foraging,), good with a gun, is in great physical health, and I'd rather her be on my side than the zombies (see "skull faced boy").
Dan - Trustworthy, good with guns, capable hunter, in great physical health.
Shea - Built like a tank, good thinker and leader, and has a lot of back-woods knowledge.
Badgermonkey - Trustworthy, indestructible, runs on pixie-stix, and we've been preparing for the zombie onslaught for years.
Mrs. Badgermonkey - I'm more afraid of her on a good day then Badgermonkey when his sugar crashes.
Rianna - Trustworthy, accomplished martial artist, good physical shape, fears no zombie, and she's crush my larynx if I didn't.
Mr. Rianna (aka. Malichi) - good fighter, leader, good physical shape, martial artist, and Rianna would crush my larynx if I didn't.

Tough call... I can drive the shyte out of a van (as long as there's no trailer involved) so I'd have to be there.  My Lovely Bride (tm) would have to be there because she's the most competent all-round person I know.  All 4 kids, and the dog (does she count as a passenger?) would have to go.  That leaves room for two, and no way in hell am I braving DC just to pick up my in-laws.  (Sorry guys, but you have to expect that when your superpower is griping-about-any-given-situation.)

I guess I'd hold a raffle.

[Bdoomed]

duno who else but id be sure to bring Chuck Norris

[Russell Nash]

A neighbor of ours was a retired Green Beret Colonel.  He's gotta be around 70 now, but if I could get him, I'd sacrifice everyone else except my wife and kids.  I don't know how combat ready he is at the moment, but his ability to plan and train others would be priceless.

[Tango Alpha Delta]

A neighbor of ours was a retired Green Beret Colonel.  He's gotta be around 70 now, but if I could get him, I'd sacrifice everyone else except my wife and kids.  I don't know how combat ready he is at the moment, but his ability to plan and train others would be priceless.

8-passenger van: $26K
Plenty of gas: $26K
ex-Green Beret for planning and training everyone left to take out zombies: ... hmm... I seem to have forgotten how this goes...

[Chodon]

A neighbor of ours was a retired Green Beret Colonel.  He's gotta be around 70 now, but if I could get him, I'd sacrifice everyone else except my wife and kids.  I don't know how combat ready he is at the moment, but his ability to plan and train others would be priceless.

Yeah, my stepdad used to be a captain in the local PD, and led the SWAT team.  He is a really nice guy, so it was always a little strange in high school to see him on the local news all SWATted out kicking in doors and stuff.  Especially since my mom told him he wasn't allowed to leave the command vehicle.  I even saw a video of him training with Richard Marcinko.  They were raiding airplanes in Fla.  He would be right up there with a green beret on my short list of people to get when the zombies attack.

[jodymonster]

My mom: Has spent the last thirty-odd years editing medical textbooks.  She is basically a doctor who can't write prescriptions.  Also spent some time teaching self-defense.  She's damn good in any crisis, and with a billy club. 

My brother, JJ: Invented a car then runs on zombie chum.  Also uncommonly good at smart-ass one-liners, and every zombie apocalypse needs those.

My boyfriend Sean: knows more about agriculture than anyone else I know, is good at identifying edible wild plants and generally all other outdoorsy things.  He grew up in very rural farm community, so he learned all kinds of things I didn't in the suburbs.  And I'd really miss him. 

My ex-boyfriend, Jon: Jon loves two things; engines and guns.  He is very good at operating and fixing both of them, or anything else mechanical.   And I think he would get more joy out of the zombies than anyone else on this list, except maybe for my brother.

My uncle John: Again, engines and guns.  Like the ex, but with a few more decade's experience.  Also, he's probably the most street-wise person I know, and he tells great stories.

My cousin Justin: He's a Marine. Enough said. 

My cousin Brian: A paramedic. 

I feel kinda like a heartless bastard after making this list.  I picked 95% of my list solely on knowledge and skills.  I want a bus, and I want to bring everyone.   But I guess I'll have to squash my peaceful loving hippie nature if I want to survive.

Incidentally, I've been reading World War Z, by Max Brooks. (Thank you Psuedopod) It touches on so many things that pop up in this thread, like what would it be like to spent the zombie years on a nuclear submarine (or on the space station), I feel like I should mention it here on the off (far off) chance anyone enjoying this thread hasn't heard of it yet. 

[Heradel]

Incidentally, I've been reading World War Z, by Max Brooks. (Thank you Psuedopod) It touches on so many things that pop up in this thread, like what would it be like to spent the zombie years on a nuclear submarine (or on the space station), I feel like I should mention it here on the off (far off) chance anyone enjoying this thread hasn't heard of it yet. 

I mentioned it ten pages ago in this thread as well: http://forum.escapeartists.info/index.php?topic=20.msg9482;topicseen#msg9482

After topics lose the "all" link they get progressively harder and harder to read the entirety of.