Poll

Which of these will win the Inaugural Pseudopun?

Pseudopod 044: Stockholm Syndrome - you know the story, Boy eats Girl  
1 (11.1%)
Pseudopod 73: Blood, Gridlock and PEZ - A nice little coming of rage story, but I thought it had to much of an axe to grind.
5 (55.6%)
PP#1, Bagman:  This one really called out to me.
0 (0%)
PP 120: Iowa Highway - Driving down I80 just sucks the life out of you.
3 (33.3%)

Total Members Voted: 8

Voting closed: February 01, 2009, 09:42:29 AM

Author Topic: ZARGA II, PSEUDOPUN  (Read 42435 times)

Zathras

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on: December 31, 2008, 03:09:01 PM
Submit your horror puns here.  If you want to bribe someone, bribe Alasdair5000.  Submissions must be in by th 24th, so that the team over at Pseudopod can narrow it down to 3 and then a poll will be put up to determine the winner.  The prize is any 1 PP disc from poddisc.com.

Entries can be submitted any time after 00:00:00 2009, board time.

Good luck, and may N-sh have mercy on our souls!



Zathras

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Reply #1 on: January 01, 2009, 06:35:17 AM
You know, I didn't care too much for Lala Salama, but I just can't put my finger on why.



Zathras

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Reply #2 on: January 01, 2009, 06:22:01 PM
Dr Frankenstein was having a New Year's Eve party, so he sent Igor out to dig up some guests.



Bdoomed

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Reply #3 on: January 01, 2009, 06:37:26 PM
You know, I didn't care too much for Lala Salama, but I just can't put my finger on why.
:D!

I'd like to hear my options, so I could weigh them, what do you say?
Five pounds?  Six pounds? Seven pounds?


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Reply #4 on: January 02, 2009, 04:57:24 PM
The zombie was feeling pretty scatterbrained.

I might have to actually THINK about this one.



Zathras

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Reply #5 on: January 02, 2009, 10:23:15 PM
Everyone had a ball at the Tall Man's party!



Zathras

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Reply #6 on: January 03, 2009, 05:32:39 AM
Got my Pseudopod marathon off to a good start.  Here's some thoughts on the episodes:

PP#1, Bagman:  This one really called out to me.

PP#2, Good Advice:  It was good, but the ending didn't blindside me.

PP#3, Little Boy Legbone:  Brought tears to my eyes.

PP#4, Returning My Sister's Face:  I was high on this story, but I didn't lose my head over it.

PP#5, Sacred Skin:  Had me nearly turned inside out.

PP#6, What Dead People Are Supposed to Do:  Gotta give this one credit, the ending had me jumping for joy.

PP#7, Drawing the Moon:  Left me cold.

PP#8, Indications:  Really burned me up.

PP#9, Counting from Ten:  Had a familiar ring to it, but as in other stories, I can't put my finger on it.

PP#10, Turista:  A real gut wrenching story.

PP#11, Killing Jars:  Really resonated with me, a piercing story with magnetic characters.



If you don't get the puns, go listen to the stories!  If you don't have access to the stories, enter the contest and win a disc!  This wasn't even half of the Pseudopod Collection #1.
« Last Edit: January 03, 2009, 05:46:15 AM by Zathras »



Bdoomed

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Reply #7 on: January 03, 2009, 04:36:42 PM
this contest is a tough one, I think I need a break... I think I'll take a Sick Day.

I'd like to hear my options, so I could weigh them, what do you say?
Five pounds?  Six pounds? Seven pounds?


Zathras

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Reply #8 on: January 03, 2009, 07:28:32 PM
this contest is a tough one, I think I need a break... I think I'll take a Sick Day.

Oh bloody hell!



Zathras

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Reply #9 on: January 04, 2009, 07:04:58 AM
Here we go again.  Granted some of these aren't puns, and some are weak, but I'll at least try to be clever:

PP 12, Skinwalker Deception:  My cup o' tea!

PP 13, Redmonds Private Screening:  While listening to this, I kept yelling, "Cut!"

PP 14, Virginia Woods:  I was afraid it would be too long.

PP 15, Regis St. George:  Was it Howie St Mandell?  Deal or No Deal?

PP 16, Medicinal:  Screwball, corner pocket.

PP 17, Upon a Midnight Clear:  I do believe in Santa's Claws!

PP 18, Oranges, Lemons and Thou:  A little sweet and sour.

PP 19, Through Corridors:  Gives new meaning to worm holes.

PP 20, What You Wish For:  Fantastic!

PP 21, Fetal Position:  Someone needed to cut the apron strings.

PP 22, Them Eyes:  (The one I was thinking of was used, but here it is)  Guess he bought the farm.

PP 23, Civilized Monsters:  I just ate this one up and am Ravenous for more.

PP 24, Honest Ghosts:  I'm having a mental block, and need some inspiration.

PP 25, Fetching Pepe:  I wasn't even temporarily fooled by this.

PP 26, Flat Diane.  I had a pun for this early on, but by the end, I decided against one.

Well, that wraps up Disc 1, I'll work on typing up Disc 2 tomorrow.



Zathras

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Reply #10 on: January 04, 2009, 03:33:09 PM
And more:

PP 27, My Caroline:  Let's face it, sometimes you have to make a stand.

PP 28, Lorna:  If only I had a guardian angel to help me come up with a pun for this one.

PP 29, Light Like Knives Across the Night Sky:  It's Saul In the Cards

PP 30, Sellers Market:  Ellen would have been better off being Ruth-less, maybe the house would have only cost an arm and a leg.

PP 31, Last Respects:  I bet it was quite a site, seeing all the preyers praying over their prey.

PP 32, Stitching Time:  She'll never males it in again.

PP 33, Sounds After Screaming:  This story really pushed my buttons.

PP 34, Bliss:  Quite an appealing tale.

PP 35, Locked Doors:  What a rebolting story!

PP 36, Liberation:  Don't worry girls, there isn't even a bit of truth to this one.

PP 37, We Are All Very Lively:  I'm getting a headache thinking about the implications.

PP 38, Hell's Daycare:  Guess he got lucky with her!

PP 39, Some Things Don't Wash Off:  Thought it was a horror story, but I've had a change of heart.

PP 40, Wanting To Want:  I wanted to want to finish this story, but it was difficult.

Off to continue the marathon!
« Last Edit: January 04, 2009, 03:36:56 PM by Zathras »



Zathras

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Reply #11 on: January 05, 2009, 01:25:26 PM
Ok, this qualifies as horror only because it frightens me.



Raving_Lunatic

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Reply #12 on: January 05, 2009, 09:07:44 PM
PP36: I think I liked this, but the spiders probably told me to.



DKT

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Reply #13 on: January 05, 2009, 11:04:50 PM
Episode 31 sucked.


Zathras

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Reply #14 on: January 07, 2009, 10:36:58 PM
Hmmm.  If there is a lack of participation, I'm just gonna feed the pod the money I would have spent on the prize.



FamilyGuy

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Reply #15 on: January 09, 2009, 01:13:26 AM
Episode 123: Bone Sigh scarred me for life.
« Last Edit: January 09, 2009, 10:26:33 PM by FamilyGuy »

When will all the rhetorical questions end?


DKT

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Reply #16 on: January 09, 2009, 04:36:08 PM
Episode 62 was kind of preachy.

Episode 79 left me cold.


Zathras

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Reply #17 on: January 09, 2009, 05:13:14 PM
How about using the episode number and title, guys?  I don't recall each one by number, I's not as smartes as the rest of you'uns.



Zathras

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Reply #18 on: January 09, 2009, 05:16:44 PM
Episode 62 was kind of preachy.


Groan!!!!!    ;)



Kevin David Anderson

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Reply #19 on: January 09, 2009, 07:23:18 PM
Pseudopod 044: Stockholm Syndrome - you know the story, Boy eats Girl   

Pseudopod 73: Blood, Gridlock and PEZ - A nice little coming of rage story, but I thought it had to much of an axe to grind.
« Last Edit: January 09, 2009, 07:37:47 PM by Kevin Anderson »



Zathras

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Reply #20 on: January 09, 2009, 11:32:03 PM
Pseudopod 73: Blood, Gridlock and PEZ - A nice little coming of rage story, but I thought it had to much of an axe to grind.

Nicely played!



FamilyGuy

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Reply #21 on: January 10, 2009, 06:23:11 PM
PP 120: Iowa Highway - Driving down I80 just sucks the life out of you.

When will all the rhetorical questions end?


Kevin David Anderson

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Reply #22 on: January 11, 2009, 05:57:27 PM
Pseudopod 80: Votary - That was phat.

Pseudopod 80: Votary - The story made a huge impression.

Flash: Garbage Day - This one is rubbish
« Last Edit: January 14, 2009, 06:41:54 PM by Kevin Anderson »



MacArthurBug

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Reply #23 on: January 13, 2009, 12:59:48 AM
Pseudopod 044: Stockholm Syndrome - you know the story, Boy eats Girl   

Pseudopod 73: Blood, Gridlock and PEZ - A nice little coming of rage story, but I thought it had to much of an axe to grind.
oooh good/bad.  Truly inspired.

Oh, great and mighty Alasdair, Orator Maleficent, He of the Silvered Tongue, guide this humble fangirl past jumping up and down and squeeing upon hearing the greatness of Thy voice.
Oh mighty Mur the Magnificent. I am not worthy.


Zathras

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Reply #24 on: January 13, 2009, 05:20:00 PM
"Rack 'em up," the inquisitor told his opponent.  The shark smiled, circled the table and jawed back at him, "I didn't expect you."

Ok, so it's a reach to call this horror, but I couldn't resist.



Kevin David Anderson

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Reply #25 on: January 14, 2009, 12:20:03 PM
Frankenstein’s monster could never get a date.  Every time he went to ask a girl out, he just fell apart. 


The Incubus had fallen in love with one of the three Graeae sisters, but he couldn’t tell witch.


Unknown to most, Medusa had a short career in Hollywood.  She earned a bad reputation early on, Clashing with Titan producers, and never seemed to make enough money because she always worked for scale.   
« Last Edit: January 14, 2009, 06:44:29 PM by Kevin Anderson »



Zathras

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Reply #26 on: January 14, 2009, 08:22:38 PM
Frankenstein’s monster could never get a date.  Every time he went to ask a girl out, he just fell apart. 


The Incubus had fallen in love with one of the three Graeae sisters, but he couldn’t tell witch.


Unknown to most, Medusa had a short career in Hollywood.  She earned a bad reputation early on, Clashing with Titan producers, and never seemed to make enough money because she always worked for scale.   

braVO!  Now we're getting somewhere!



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Reply #27 on: January 14, 2009, 08:28:52 PM
I can't get "Zombies are dead boring" out of my terminally softened brain.

PP??: Some Things Don't Wash Off- This one left its mark right on my heart.




FamilyGuy

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Reply #28 on: January 15, 2009, 12:46:30 AM
Flash: Why I Hate Cake--This one left a bad taste in my mouth.
 

When will all the rhetorical questions end?


Zathras

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Reply #29 on: January 15, 2009, 01:39:44 PM
Basssssssementsssssss are not very sssssssafe placesssssss.  Jussssssst asssssssk Dirk Benedict!



Kevin David Anderson

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Reply #30 on: January 16, 2009, 07:25:32 PM
The Cereal Killer was up to his old Trix.
« Last Edit: January 16, 2009, 07:40:12 PM by Kevin Anderson »



Zathras

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Reply #31 on: January 17, 2009, 10:20:16 PM
The Cereal Killer was up to his old Trix.

You mean Toucan Son of Sam, right?



Zathras

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Reply #32 on: January 18, 2009, 01:20:23 AM
Just a reminder, submissions are accepted until midnight, server time on Jan 23rd.  Then Alasdair gets to narrow it down to 3.  A little undead birdie told me that Al is not immune to bribes...



Zathras

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Reply #33 on: January 19, 2009, 10:59:22 PM
The punny thing is, I ghastly over estimated the number of submissions this would generate.  I thought this was something people would really sink their teeth into. 



Alasdair5000

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Reply #34 on: January 19, 2009, 11:13:41 PM
Just a reminder, submissions are accepted until midnight, server time on Jan 23rd.  Then Alasdair gets to narrow it down to 3.  A little undead birdie told me that Al is not immune to bribes...

And not longer after that, I turned up and said 'Oi! Zathras!  Tell 'em I'm not immune to bribes!  No, BRIBES!...BRIBES!...BRIBES!...The things that you give people when you want them to do stuff for you!  BE SUBTLE TOO!'



DKT

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Reply #35 on: January 19, 2009, 11:28:55 PM
Just a reminder, submissions are accepted until midnight, server time on Jan 23rd.  Then Alasdair gets to narrow it down to 3.  A little undead birdie told me that Al is not immune to bribes...

And not longer after that, I turned up and said 'Oi! Zathras!  Tell 'em I'm not immune to bribes!  No, BRIBES!...BRIBES!...BRIBES!...The things that you give people when you want them to do stuff for you!  BE SUBTLE TOO!'

I'm trying to remember if you like Strongbow...


Zathras

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Reply #36 on: January 20, 2009, 07:42:49 AM
Y'know, I'd really like to hear what kind of things people would bribe Alasdair with...



Alasdair5000

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Reply #37 on: January 20, 2009, 08:07:18 AM
Me TOO!

Ummm, for...curiosity...clearly.



Zathras

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Reply #38 on: January 20, 2009, 08:11:09 AM
Me TOO!

Ummm, for...curiosity...clearly.

How about a DWAMC?



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Reply #39 on: January 20, 2009, 08:53:17 PM
I'm not sure about Ep. 125: Scavenger but can't really explain why. Something about it is just picking at my brain.


Zathras

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Reply #40 on: January 22, 2009, 04:48:29 PM
We're down to the last 36 hours and 12 minutes or so for submissions.

Gosh, I wonder if I have time to go to a job interview first.



Zathras

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Reply #41 on: January 24, 2009, 01:41:28 AM
Ok, I'm just closing things down now.  I'm online for now and might not be later.  Good luck, gentlemen and may God have mercy on your souls.



Zathras

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Reply #42 on: January 27, 2009, 03:17:30 PM
Alasdair put the poll up, it's at the top of this thread. 

Woot!  One of my 3 thousand submissions made the cut.



Alasdair5000

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Reply #43 on: January 29, 2009, 05:03:23 PM
That's because it was really good:)

Any more for any more?  Anyone not voted yet?



Zathras

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Reply #44 on: January 29, 2009, 05:07:13 PM
I personally thought my Killing Jars pun was my best.   ;D 

I've decided that if we get 25 votes or more to award a prize to both first and second place.



Zathras

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Reply #45 on: February 02, 2009, 02:49:54 AM
Congratulations, Kevin Anderson!  I'll get in touch via PM.



FamilyGuy

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Reply #46 on: February 02, 2009, 04:08:26 AM
I would've gotten more votes if the forums hadn't been down all weekend.

Never got a chance to get my relatives signed up to vote for me.   ;D

Congrats Kevin.

When will all the rhetorical questions end?


Kevin David Anderson

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Reply #47 on: February 02, 2009, 08:26:58 PM
I would've gotten more votes if the forums hadn't been down all weekend.

Never got a chance to get my relatives signed up to vote for me.   ;D

Congrats Kevin.

Thanks.  Mom always said I was punny. 

Yeah, what happened to the forums this weekend.  I also couldn't pull up pseudopod. 


Zathras

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Reply #48 on: February 02, 2009, 09:17:37 PM
I would've gotten more votes if the forums hadn't been down all weekend.

Never got a chance to get my relatives signed up to vote for me.   ;D

Congrats Kevin.

Guess you'll just have to watch for ZARGA III



Alasdair5000

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Reply #49 on: February 03, 2009, 02:30:59 PM
Congratulations everyone:)  I actually caught myself, earlier, looking at some of the stuff on the slate and wondering what you'll come up with for the next or next but one Zarga...



Zathras

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Reply #50 on: February 03, 2009, 03:04:49 PM
Was that a movie reference, Alasdair?  I never know with you and always wonder if I'm missing out on something.   :D