Author Topic: PURPLE and the kings of the interweb! (Read 32616 times)

Zathras · **on:** April 16, 2009, 11:21:03 PM

We haven't had a decent (good natured) fight in here for a while. I'll get the ball rolling by sharing an email I received today:

Quote from: nameless

Letter from the Boss:

As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barrack Obama is our President, and that our taxes, and government fees will increase in a BIG way. To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase by about 10%. Since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off six of our employees instead. This has really been bothering me, since I believe we are family here and I didn't know how to choose who would have to go. So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking lot and found six 'Obama' bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to let go. I can't think of a more fair way to approach this problem. They voted for change; I gave it to them. I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.

Heradel · **Reply #1 on:** April 16, 2009, 11:31:35 PM

Yes, because losing the money in a lawsuit is immensely more satisfying that via taxes.

Bdoomed · **Reply #2 on:** April 16, 2009, 11:55:00 PM

...jeez... thats a dumb move... and terrible... and have these tax increases even happened yet? (sorry i dont pay attention to this stuff, mostly because i dont care.)

Heradel · **Reply #3 on:** April 17, 2009, 12:17:03 AM

Quote from: Bdoomed on April 16, 2009, 11:55:00 PM

...jeez... thats a dumb move... and terrible... and have these tax increases even happened yet? (sorry i dont pay attention to this stuff, mostly because i dont care.)

What tax increases there are will take effect next fiscal year, and for the most part we're going back to the taxation levels of the 90s for people making over 250k, with perhaps a few more loopholes closed.

Zathras, was this your boss? I can't remember if you said you were an owner-operator or not.

Zathras · **Reply #4 on:** April 17, 2009, 12:42:53 AM

(It's a joke email that was forwarded to me. I thought it was clever, even if it is inaccurate.)

I am the boss, but don't have any employees but myself. Wait, Tinkerbell is the boss.

birdless · **Reply #5 on:** April 17, 2009, 03:15:47 AM

Quote from: Zathras on April 17, 2009, 12:42:53 AM

Wait, Tinkerbell is the boss.

Pssst... nice save!

Russell Nash · **Reply #6 on:** April 17, 2009, 12:56:31 PM

Too bad it's not real. Persecuting employees because of their political beliefs is illegal. Putting it in an email to the employees is admitting guilt of a crime. Case closed. The only question is the amount of damages.

DKT · **Reply #7 on:** April 17, 2009, 03:40:54 PM

Quote from: Zathras on April 17, 2009, 12:42:53 AM

(It's a joke email that was forwarded to me. I thought it was clever, even if it is inaccurate.)

Ah, CEO Mary Sue fantasies.

Talia · **Reply #8 on:** April 17, 2009, 06:07:46 PM

Quote from: Russell Nash on April 17, 2009, 12:56:31 PM

Too bad it's not real. Persecuting employees because of their political beliefs is illegal. Putting it in an email to the employees is admitting guilt of a crime. Case closed. The only question is the amount of damages.

Just before the election, our boss sent out a company wide email with vague threats about what bad stuff would happen if Barack Obama got elected. Even my Republican coworkers were weirded out.

My department had a meeting about it the next week where we all bitched about it for like 40 minutes. It was amusing.

Zathras · **Reply #9 on:** April 17, 2009, 06:26:21 PM

Where's the outrage? Where's the fighting? This is entirely too civil...

::whacks Talia with the chair::

That oughta fix it!

PURPLE!

Bdoomed · **Reply #10 on:** April 17, 2009, 06:34:19 PM

hey FUCK YOU and your anti Obama, communist republican bullshit, you rich cunt faced excuse for a man! Hit Talia one more time with a chair while screaming Purple communist bullshit and i'll rip you in half so fast you wont even bleed.

DKT · **Reply #11 on:** April 17, 2009, 06:41:02 PM

Mods can't fight! No fair!

Zathras · **Reply #12 on:** April 17, 2009, 06:42:44 PM

That's ok, he isn't even smart enough to realize that Communists and Republicans are opposites.

::smacks bdoomed with the chair, then whacks him with the barbed wire wrapped baseball bat::

Take that!

Bdoomed · **Reply #13 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:16:34 PM

*wipes blood from face*
oh now you've done it...
FEEL MY WRATH! (and how it will hurt)

BLATANT ABUSE OF POWER MUAHAHAHAHAAAA

Ocicat · **Reply #14 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:51:54 PM

He's a witch! Burn him!

DKT · **Reply #15 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:41:57 PM

OMG! Who turned Zathras into a bunny? That was AWEsome.

Zathras · **Reply #16 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:51:24 PM

Quote from: Bdoomed on April 17, 2009, 07:16:34 PM

*wipes blood from face*
oh now you've done it...
FEEL MY WRATH! (and how it will hurt)

BLATANT ABUSE OF POWER MUAHAHAHAHAAAA

Time for your chainsaw enema!

stePH · **Reply #17 on:** April 17, 2009, 09:05:33 PM

Quote from: Talia on April 17, 2009, 06:07:46 PM

Just before the election, our boss sent out a company wide email with vague threats about what bad stuff would happen if Barack Obama got elected. Even my Republican coworkers were weirded out.

My department had a meeting about it the next week where we all bitched about it for like 40 minutes. It was amusing.

I still wish Hillary Clinton had been elected, just so my mom and stepdad could have a taste of how I've felt for the past eight years with their boy in office. Oh, well ... Sec. of State in the Obama administration is almost as satisfying.

(Am I a bad person?)

slic · **Reply #18 on:** April 17, 2009, 11:02:09 PM

Quote from: Bunny on April 17, 2009, 08:51:24 PM

Time for your chainsaw enema!

GREEN!!

I grab you by your over-long, ridiculous bunny ears, spin you over and around my head a few times, and finally swing you into a corner of the wall. Your mask cracks to reveal your hideous face, and gangerous left eye which I promptly stab with a red-hot cattle prod.

With you skewered on the end of the still discharging cattle prod, I jab your whole body into Bdoomed's sprawled out, inert form. This is for not understanding anatomy well enough to realize you can't prevent bleeding by ripping quickly. Also for using the c word when women are in the room.

I chuckle as I watch you both do the Rock Lobster until the long-lasting battery dies out.

Talia · **Reply #19 on:** April 17, 2009, 11:07:51 PM

Quote from: Bunny on April 17, 2009, 06:26:21 PM

Where's the outrage? Where's the fighting? This is entirely too civil...

::whacks Talia with the chair::

That oughta fix it!

PURPLE!

hmm, I could use a nice new pair of socks. Bunny fur would work. *wields knife menacingly*

Zathras · **Reply #20 on:** April 17, 2009, 11:42:41 PM

Quote from: DKT on April 17, 2009, 06:41:02 PM

Mods can't fight! No fair!

Autarchs can, but I thought they were fighting each other.

Bdoomed · **Reply #21 on:** April 17, 2009, 11:50:48 PM

hey no no no go back to the other bunny, Bunny...

Portrait in Flesh · **Reply #22 on:** April 18, 2009, 12:17:39 AM

Quote from: Talia on April 17, 2009, 11:07:51 PM

Quote from: Bunny on April 17, 2009, 06:26:21 PM
Where's the outrage? Where's the fighting? This is entirely too civil...

::whacks Talia with the chair::

That oughta fix it!

PURPLE!

hmm, I could use a nice new pair of socks. Bunny fur would work. *wields knife menacingly*

If you happen to have any scraps left over, I'm looking for a new sock bunny:

I don't need any of the pretty purple parts for it.

lowky · **Reply #23 on:** April 18, 2009, 12:52:39 PM

Quote from: Portrait in Flesh on April 18, 2009, 12:17:39 AM

If you happen to have any scraps left over, I'm looking for a new sock bunny:

I don't need any of the pretty purple parts for it.

Damn I think i saw that on some toothpaste recently. And while in some areas the logo has changed 'Darlie' still carries the Al Jolsen looking guy on the label.

Zathras · **Reply #24 on:** April 18, 2009, 01:11:34 PM

Halp! I huv bin biten bie a wear rabbat