Author Topic: EP481: Temporary Friends  (Read 12646 times)

Devoted135

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Reply #25 on: March 05, 2015, 04:13:30 AM
I'm afraid I must agree with the consensus here, this was a best a well-intentioned but horribly executed plan to teach kids how to cope with death. At worst, it's heartlessly cruel and all but guaranteed to scar the kid for life and ruin the kid's relationship with their parents to boot. This wouldn't have necessarily ruined the story for me, except that I have a nagging feeling that the narrative was either neutral or slightly in support of this "education program" rather than recognizing it for the Bad Idea it is.

I'm reminded of the story that ran quite a while back where people chose to have some sort of procedure to remove painful memories (?? I'm having a hard time remembering details other than there were two women who were good friends and didn't want the procedure for various reasons). Anyway, that sparked a huge discussion on whether pain is necessary for us to retain our humanity, and I think the same discussion is relevant here. If we don't experience the loss of loved ones, and if we don't have to know that one day we will also die then do we lose some of our humanity? Maybe not immediately, but what about at the long-term, society-wide level? I can easily see some administrators dreaming up a temporary friend program to try and retain that aspect of what it has always meant to be human.



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Reply #26 on: March 05, 2015, 03:26:19 PM
So, this issue was tragically relevant to my life today. My beloved bearded dragon, Jabberwock, died at the not-quite-as-ripe-as-I'd-hoped age of 5, which is about 50 in lizard years. I'm going to miss the little bastard. He was my first lizard, my first pet as an adult, and honestly a part of my family, despite being a chronically grumpy little reptile. I'm going to miss him judging me silently from his perch at the front of his tank. I'm going to miss watching him stalk beetles and grubs, watching him swim around on the bathtub, or taking him out and letting him crawl around on me. He was fun.

And I don't really think that losing him added a damn thing to my life.

Damn, I'm so sorry to hear about that.  Hugs to you.

I never had pets as a kid, so the first pet I lost was a dog who died in December 2012 (the day after my birthday, which since then has made me think only of grief when my birthday rolls around)--she was pretty young for a dog, only 5 years old, but came down with an auto-immune condition that made her immune system kill her own red blood cells.  We have 3 dogs today and I dread having to see them all die someday.  :(  One of them is 12 years old, who spent his first 7 years as breeding stock at a puppy mill--when we got him his teeth were full of rot from neglect and the vet had to pull a bunch out.  A few followup dental trips and he literally has one tooth left because they need to be pulled before the infection can spread into the rest of his body.  Sometimes he looks his age, especially if he's woken from a nap, but sometimes he bounces around with the oblivious enthusiasm of a puppy. 

When my dog passed away, it helped a lot to write up a blog post memorial where I talked about adopting her, all her weird quirks and behaviors for good or bad, and yes the sad part at the end as well.  I wrote it when the grief was still fresh and so it has an edge to it, but it makes me feel better to know I can visit that page and re-read everything I said about her.  I think I'll do that for any of my dogs when they go, I found it helped work through the pain.





albionmoonlight

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Reply #27 on: March 08, 2015, 04:51:17 PM



InfiniteMonkey

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Reply #28 on: March 10, 2015, 05:12:05 AM
I'm afraid I must agree with the consensus here, this was a best a well-intentioned but horribly executed plan to teach kids how to cope with death. At worst, it's heartlessly cruel and all but guaranteed to scar the kid for life and ruin the kid's relationship with their parents to boot. This wouldn't have necessarily ruined the story for me, except that I have a nagging feeling that the narrative was either neutral or slightly in support of this "education program" rather than recognizing it for the Bad Idea it is.

I couldn't disagree more. From where I sat, I thought it was pretty clear that the author agreed this was a stupid idea, That's not to say there aren't any issues involved in life extension; but giving kids terminal pets isn't the way to go.

I'm reminded of the story that ran quite a while back where people chose to have some sort of procedure to remove painful memories (?? I'm having a hard time remembering details other than there were two women who were good friends and didn't want the procedure for various reasons). Anyway, that sparked a huge discussion on whether pain is necessary for us to retain our humanity, and I think the same discussion is relevant here. If we don't experience the loss of loved ones, and if we don't have to know that one day we will also die then do we lose some of our humanity? Maybe not immediately, but what about at the long-term, society-wide level? I can easily see some administrators dreaming up a temporary friend program to try and retain that aspect of what it has always meant to be human.


I think you mean EP411: Loss, With Chalk Diagrams



Devoted135

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Reply #29 on: March 10, 2015, 05:09:24 PM
I'm afraid I must agree with the consensus here, this was a best a well-intentioned but horribly executed plan to teach kids how to cope with death. At worst, it's heartlessly cruel and all but guaranteed to scar the kid for life and ruin the kid's relationship with their parents to boot. This wouldn't have necessarily ruined the story for me, except that I have a nagging feeling that the narrative was either neutral or slightly in support of this "education program" rather than recognizing it for the Bad Idea it is.

I couldn't disagree more. From where I sat, I thought it was pretty clear that the author agreed this was a stupid idea, That's not to say there aren't any issues involved in life extension; but giving kids terminal pets isn't the way to go.

Well, I hope so :)


I'm reminded of the story that ran quite a while back where people chose to have some sort of procedure to remove painful memories (?? I'm having a hard time remembering details other than there were two women who were good friends and didn't want the procedure for various reasons). Anyway, that sparked a huge discussion on whether pain is necessary for us to retain our humanity, and I think the same discussion is relevant here. If we don't experience the loss of loved ones, and if we don't have to know that one day we will also die then do we lose some of our humanity? Maybe not immediately, but what about at the long-term, society-wide level? I can easily see some administrators dreaming up a temporary friend program to try and retain that aspect of what it has always meant to be human.


I think you mean EP411: Loss, With Chalk Diagrams

That's the one! Thanks!



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Reply #30 on: March 24, 2015, 05:18:00 PM
Soon I will actually be caught up and possibly commenting on current stories! (Actually being on a few weeks behind isn't too bad, I think.)

This one made my morning commute a bit difficult, but at least I made it to the end before I really started crying, although I was pretty much expecting this result. We're in the very end stage of kidney disease with one of our cats - probably less than a few weeks, maybe even less than that. She's not the first pet I've lost, nor will she be close to the last, but damn each time is like having my heart torn out ... and I know I'm going to just get back in line to have it happen again.

I have to wonder, with pets that can live forever, what happens to the ones that need homes? The shelters are pretty full even today, what would they look like in this scenario?

The end points on the spectrum of lifespan shown here was interesting to me. Pets designed to be short-lived, where the intention was to do nothing and watch them die vs. ones that were effectively immortal, but may not really be living in a technical sense anymore. I know many times, we've had to make a choice about how much to do to try to prolong a life and I kept thinking about that. How much should we put something (or someone) we love though, just so they can live a little longer?

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CryptoMe

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Reply #31 on: January 20, 2016, 04:34:51 AM
Well, I am really far behind, but trying to catch up.

I liked the thinking that this story provoked and how well all of the possibilities were covered by the previous comments. Was the story obvious in its manipulations? Yes. But for some reason, I didn't feel like I was being hit over the head with a sledge hammer (though Jhites post has me rolling on the floor!), and I'm usually quite sensitive to that. So, overall, a win for me.