Author Topic: The Orator Maleficent wants you! (Read 21506 times)

Jason M · **on:** September 18, 2009, 12:07:18 AM

Actually He wants your soul, but your allegiance will do for now, and pie. Pie is always good.

To join His unholy ranks, all you must do is acknowledge in your signature or under your avatar that you are a "Servant of The Orator Maleficent". This is not His only title and He enjoys hearing His titles, so use them freely.

As a loyal follower of The Desecrator of Words, I will supply pie to any member I meet face to face. Yes, you heard correctly, I am not below bribery! As a bonus, any office holder in tcorn that switches allegiance will have a pie delivered to their home.

Bdoomed · **Reply #1 on:** September 18, 2009, 12:17:19 AM

this is blasphemy! this is madness! come to TCoRN! we've got tradition on our side. that and mods... lots of mod power. that's right, power.

Jason M · **Reply #2 on:** September 18, 2009, 12:24:41 AM

Four words:

Free Foot High Pies*

*Foot hig pies will not be delivered, you must show up in person to receive your free pie.

Jason M · **Reply #3 on:** September 18, 2009, 12:36:05 AM

Quote from: Bdoomed on September 18, 2009, 12:17:19 AM

this is blasphemy! this is madness! come to TCoRN! we've got tradition on our side. that and mods... lots of mod power. that's right, power.

Tradition = stagnation. The Cult of Alasdair is growing, be a part of that growth. Get in on the ground level, before we bury you.

The Mods wield the power in tcorn and you will never get a sniff of it.

I am a capitalist, and a follower of The Perverter of Punctuation. There is a very good chance you will get a free pie.

Bdoomed · **Reply #4 on:** September 18, 2009, 12:41:04 AM

two words: Custom Title.

yeah, you heard me.

Jason M · **Reply #5 on:** September 18, 2009, 12:44:14 AM

Free Pseudopod tshirt to the first defector from tcorn.

Yeah, you heard ME.

Bdoomed · **Reply #6 on:** September 18, 2009, 12:45:50 AM

free $100 bill to write your prayer to N-sh on the back of! *

*just pay $100 processing and shipping fees

lowky · **Reply #7 on:** September 18, 2009, 12:47:29 AM

Quote from: Zathras on September 18, 2009, 12:36:05 AM

Quote from: Bdoomed on September 18, 2009, 12:17:19 AM
this is blasphemy! this is madness! come to TCoRN! we've got tradition on our side. that and mods... lots of mod power. that's right, power.

Tradition = stagnation. The Cult of Alasdair is growing, be a part of that growth. Get in on the ground level, before we bury you.

The Mods wield the power in tcorn and you will never get a sniff of it.

I am a capitalist, and a follower of The Perverter of Punctuation. There is a very good chance you will get a free pie.

How can you argue with Someone who Perverts Punctuation, or pie for that matter.

Jason M · **Reply #8 on:** September 18, 2009, 12:48:37 AM

Alasdair's voice on your answering machine. That's right, His Unholiness Himself answering your phone.

lowky · **Reply #9 on:** September 18, 2009, 12:58:02 AM

Quote from: Zathras on September 18, 2009, 12:48:37 AM

Alasdair's voice on your answering machine. That's right, His Unholiness Himself answering your phone.

damned true

stePH · **Reply #10 on:** September 18, 2009, 02:14:16 AM

I just started following Alasdair on Twitter. WTF more do you want from me?

Swamp · **Reply #11 on:** September 18, 2009, 02:28:31 AM

I'm catching the scent of a revival brewing. Many tents are beginning to pop up. Soon the forums will be full of converts and its citizens will be bickering over points of doctrine in story threads. May I suggest a better solution, a more rational solution, if you will. I mean who could really believe in a deity named N_sh--prayers on $100 bills and all that. And though I love the sounds of the the Orator Malificent, I cannot give him power over my soul. ...though the pies are tempting... No!

No, I must follow the path of one with more wisdom. One who has helped us see the source of both our biological and spiritual natures. I refer to the one and only St. Darwin. Yes, I am a St. Darwin Spiritualist. DKT has shown me the way (or totally corrupted me, I'm not sure which). Now I invite others to join me. Put on your goggles, people, and prepare to see the truth. We can't offer you pies, but I have one word for you...

Ghostgasms!

If you have no idea what I am talking about go here.

Jason M · **Reply #12 on:** September 18, 2009, 03:38:12 AM

Quote from: Swamp on September 18, 2009, 02:28:31 AM

I'm catching the scent of a revival brewing. Many tents are beginning to pop up. Soon the forums will be full of converts and its citizens will be bickering over points of doctrine in story threads. May I suggest a better solution, a more rational solution, if you will. I mean who could really believe in a deity named N_sh--prayers on $100 bills and all that. And though I love the sounds of the the Orator Malificent, I cannot give him power over my soul. ...though the pies are tempting... No!

No, I must follow the path of one with more wisdom. One who has helped us see the source of both our biological and spiritual natures. I refer to the one and only St. Darwin. Yes, I am a St. Darwin Spiritualist. DKT has shown me the way (or totally corrupted me, I'm not sure which). Now I invite others to join me. Put on your goggles, people, and prepare to see the truth. We can't offer you pies, but I have one word for you...

Ghostgasms!

If you have no idea what I am talking about go here.

Finally, something the followers of The Maleficent Orator and TCoRN can agree on:

STONE HIM

DKT · **Reply #13 on:** September 18, 2009, 03:49:43 AM

Quote from: Zathras on September 18, 2009, 03:38:12 AM

Quote from: Swamp on September 18, 2009, 02:28:31 AM
I'm catching the scent of a revival brewing. Many tents are beginning to pop up. Soon the forums will be full of converts and its citizens will be bickering over points of doctrine in story threads. May I suggest a better solution, a more rational solution, if you will. I mean who could really believe in a deity named N_sh--prayers on $100 bills and all that. And though I love the sounds of the the Orator Malificent, I cannot give him power over my soul. ...though the pies are tempting... No!

No, I must follow the path of one with more wisdom. One who has helped us see the source of both our biological and spiritual natures. I refer to the one and only St. Darwin. Yes, I am a St. Darwin Spiritualist. DKT has shown me the way (or totally corrupted me, I'm not sure which). Now I invite others to join me. Put on your goggles, people, and prepare to see the truth. We can't offer you pies, but I have one word for you...

Ghostgasms!

If you have no idea what I am talking about go here.

Finally, something the followers of The Maleficent Orator and TCoRN can agree on:

STONE HIM

Dude. My followers can have sex with ghosts (or maybe, are ghosts). WTF are your puny little corporeal stones going to do them? Hmmmmmmmmm?

Planish · **Reply #14 on:** September 18, 2009, 04:40:44 AM

Quote from: Zathras on September 18, 2009, 12:07:18 AM

As a loyal follower of The Desecrator of Words, I will supply pie to any member I meet face to face. Yes, you heard correctly, I am not below bribery! As a bonus, any office holder in tcorn that switches allegiance will have a pie delivered to their home.

Before I swear fealty, you must ...

... show me the pie!

Jason M · **Reply #15 on:** September 18, 2009, 05:28:02 AM

Pie is for defectors.

Well, up front pie is for defectors. Prove to me that you were a member of tcOrn and I'll show you the pie!

Show me the pie!

Planish · **Reply #16 on:** September 19, 2009, 02:24:04 AM

Quote from: Zathras on September 18, 2009, 12:07:18 AM

Actually He wants your soul, but your allegiance will do for now, and pie.
[snip]
As a loyal follower of The Desecrator of Words, I will supply pie to any member I meet face to face.
[snip]

Those are two complete (if clumsily constructed) sentences.
Neither has mention of TCoRN.

I'm beginning to wonder if there even is any pie.
Is it "Schrodinger's Pie"? Both existing AND not existing until the allegiance is sworn and the waveform collapses?

And on that note:

Planish · **Reply #17 on:** September 19, 2009, 02:33:57 AM

How about a speech from the mountain-top overlooking the city, offering mastery of the universe? It might sway me.

Oh, and bring pie.

Venison mincemeat pie.

And a scoop vanilla ice cream.

Jason M · **Reply #18 on:** September 19, 2009, 04:59:22 AM

Ah, the key was if I meet you face to face. The defectors get pie express shipped to their doorsteps.

Russell Nash · **Reply #19 on:** September 19, 2009, 11:39:39 AM

You're working amazingly hard at this. All I did was make one statement and send PMs to my High Priest and Priestess.

I'll tell you one thing. There's not much money in this. It was over a year before I was averaging over ten prayers a month.

Jason M · **Reply #20 on:** September 19, 2009, 03:21:58 PM

Quote from: Russell Nash on September 19, 2009, 11:39:39 AM

You're working amazingly hard at this. All I did was make one statement and send PMs to my High Priest and Priestess.

I'll tell you one thing. There's not much money in this. It was over a year before I was averaging over ten prayers a month.

Yes, but this is all for Him. Also, I will be leaving the forums for a while, so I need to throw some fuel on the fire before I go.

Planish · **Reply #21 on:** September 25, 2009, 07:55:01 PM

Quote from: Zathras on September 19, 2009, 03:21:58 PM

Also, I will be leaving the forums for a while, ...

And what shall be the signs of thy return, that we may prepare ourselves?

[edit]
Oh wait. You're going away, not Him.

Forget it then.

Jason M · **Reply #22 on:** September 25, 2009, 11:57:52 PM

We must have stuck a nerve. Servants of The Orator Maleficent, beware, the autarchs are assaulting the very base of our beliefs.

Thaurismunths · **Reply #23 on:** September 26, 2009, 04:55:01 AM

Ya know, as High Priest of TCoRN I'd like to point out that our g-d took time out of running the universe to personally reply to this feeble upstart cult you have going on. Heck, even DKT showed up, and he's barely even a fetish. So where is your god? Too busy playing dice on Dunmanifestin to stand up for himself?

Jason M · **Reply #24 on:** September 26, 2009, 05:27:23 AM

He does not need to notice us. We just need to praise Him.

Author Topic: The Orator Maleficent wants you! (Read 21506 times)

Jason M

Jason M

Jason M

Jason M

Jason M

Jason M

Jason M

Jason M

Russell Nash

Jason M

Jason M

Jason M