EP230: Candy Art

[Swamp]

EP230: Candy Art

by James Patrick Kelly.
Read by Kathryn Baker.

First appeared in Asimov’s, December 2002.

“They’re uploads, Jennifer.” When I first met Mel, I thought the sleepy voice was sexy. “How can they move in with us when they’re not anywhere?”

“They bought a puppet to live in,” I say. “Life-sized, nuskin, real speak – top of the line. It’s supposed to be my Christmas present. Bring the family back together for the holidays and live unhappily ever after.”

“A puppet.” A puzzlement glyph pops up at the bottom of my screen. “As in one puppet?”

“It’s a timeshare – you know. They live it serially. Ten hours of him, fourteen of her.”

“Not fifty-fifty?”

“He’s giving her the difference so he can take extra time off for his bass tournament in June.”

Rated PG. Contains family drama and way too much sugar.

Special Closing Music: “Podsafe Christmas Song” by Jonathan Coulton.


Listen to this week’s Escape Pod!

[KenK]

She finally broke through! Holding all that resentment inside yourself must be painful. Bet it felt good. 

[Talia]

I liked this. You really got a feel, I think, for Mel's character by how it played out at the end. Plus the way she kept leaping to conclusions felt very real - who hasn't done that (or maybe its a chick thing. I'm not sure).

Also, I thought the commentary on parenting in here was an interesting parallel to the feedback recounted in this week's Podcastle. Just an interesting coincidence, if indeed coincidence it was.

[mrund]

Mod:  I moved this comment to the EP231 thread

[MacArthurBug]

Hey pretty good story! The reader perhaps put more "morose" in the MC's tone then I think should have been there- but I liked the story over all. I truly enjoyed all the candy ideas. I have quite a bit of a sweet tooth myself, so candys, sweets that aren't aweful for you AND taste good? That'd be awesome.

[cdugger]

Was just kinda blah on this one. Solid "meh", as The Ely would say.

Not bad, just not great. Audio wasn't the best, but the reading was alright.

All in all, coulda been better, but coulda been MUCH worse.

[Swamp]

James Patrick Kelly is fantastic!  I love how the parents subplot is interwoven into the main plot.  Their inclusion as uploaded consciences in a timeshare body could have easily taken over the story, but didn't.  Also, I like how Mel's character is revealed in the end, becoming a totally different person in hindsight, independant of Jennifer's assessment.  I liked Jennifer, too, and love her little unspoken outbursts that made for a nice touch at the end.

[cdugger]

And, now that I am not at work with my wife looking over my shoulder...

One of the things I didn't like was that internal monologue followed unerringly by "...but I didn't." Except for the one at the end, they were getting old. One would have been fine, along with something like "...like I always do...".

I did like the parents, though. I hadn't thought about the separation aspect of their relationship and how it would affect them. I thought it intelligent that the author switched the stereotypes. The man missed his wife, and SHE was the one out spreading it around, so to speak. That was new and refreshing.

The reading was fine, but it did sound a little like speaking into a plastic bucket.

[seanpeter]

Very nice.  A full story.  Loved it.

[Katie]

Whenever I read/hear a James Patrick Kelly story, I'm always struck by what lovely characters he has, and how personable they are which makes such a great bridge into the strange worlds so often found in SF stories.

The boomers in this were interesting and hilarious, and their continuing domination of life even post mortem, even through an animated puppet, worked really well to explore some of the themes of my kids-of-boomers generation.

Also, the candy was brilliant, as was the boyfriend.

[Scattercat]

What a charming and depressingly accurate portrayal of what it's like to be in a relationship with a nerd.  ("Call me right back if you say yes.  *click*")

The annoying "...but I didn't" motif had a sufficient payoff to justify it.  I don't like it, but at least it was used intelligently, and I can appreciate its place in the narrative.

[Kaa]

I could not disagree more with cdugger above. I loved the repeated "...but I didn't." I knew the second time I heard it that it was going to pay off in the end, and I enjoyed anticipating hearing it after each internal tirade, and I laughed when it paid off at the end, as promised.

Good reading, good story.

[OsamaBinLondon]

20 minutes in when nothing had happened and no significant points of interest emerged, I threw in the towel.  Very boring.  Typical J.P.K.

[Swamp]

20 minutes in when nothing had happened and no significant points of interest emerged, I threw in the towel.  Very boring.  Typical J.P.K.

You're on a roll today.  You were fine until your last line.  All we ask is that people show repect and do not make it personal about an author, reader, etc.

[eytanz]

I'm not sure if I liked this story or not. I appreciate how it built towards its ending, how all the positive signs were there if you were only to look for them. But, well, the story was basically us spending some 30-odd minutes with the protagonist's frustrations, resentments, and insecurities. There was clearly more to her - but the story made a definite point of steering us away from experiencing any of her positive qualities directly. This may speak to my mood while listening more than to the story, but I found myself losing patience with her, rather than empathizing with her.

[Scattercat]

I found myself losing patience with her, rather than empathizing with her.

I think it might just be a mood thing; I could see myself getting really irritated with the protag if this story caught me on the wrong end of a bad day with clients on the phone.  I mean, the story was basically a navel-gazing trip through the neuroses of an insecure woman and her even more insecure loved ones, and if you're not feeling forgiving or generally affable toward humanity in general, that could quickly become wearing.

Luckily, I was pretty mellow when I listened to this one.  I was mostly pleased that it went the happier route; it had felt like it was laying things on a little too thick for Mel to actually be preparing to leave her, and it was somewhat satisfying to have my instincts confirmed.  (As opposed to what happened to me on "Restless in My Hand.")

[Planish]

This story took a while, but it grew on me.
I enjoyed the off-hand bits of world-building, like "waving the bowl under the dishwasher".

[deflective]

petulant woman
wishing her parents' full death
lost my sympathy

[Kathryn]

I loved it. Absolutely charming and right on the money re: insecure females. As one, I could totally relate to her missing the clues about her beau's intentions. I was cheering for him through the whole thing and let out an audible "Awww" when he proposed. Big sap, me. Well done.

Kathryn

Edited to add that I think she was far more patient than I would be if I had to live with my Mother...

[Listener]

Stories like these are good for Kate Baker, because she can act the world-weary/downtrodden part quite well.

I didn't care for the "but I didn't" callouts in the story either, especially because, at the end, she explodes into happiness instead of letting go of her constantly-tamped-down anger. If she'd just started screaming at her mother or screaming at Mel for FINALLY getting around to asking, instead of asking years ago, I would've found the character to be more realistic.

The commentary on desert islands, as well as the food itself, was very interesting to me, as was the ability for fat people to make themselves thin via technology. I'm not sure Mel's choice was quite adequately explained, however. I also LOVED the commentary on "old people just won't DIE!"

Sharing a dreamscape? Cool idea, but I like my dreams because my id can do what it wants. I don't want my wife seeing EVERYTHING my id wants. I did, however, like that the MC didn't have easily-interpretable dreams; they really were just random images only tangentially related to what was happening in her life.

As you can guess, I thought the world was cool, but the story itself seemed more a prop to show us the world than vice versa. I believe it should be the other way around, which is why this story probably didn't really resonate with me.

[DKT]

JPK JPK JPK JPK!!!!

Thanks EP for bringing me more JPK!

[CryptoMe]

I thought the world was cool, but the story itself seemed more a prop to show us the world than vice versa. I believe it should be the other way around, which is why this story probably didn't really resonate with me.

I have to agree with this assessment. In fact, I found the slowness of the plot actually detracted from the world building. Feeling ho-hum about the plot, left me uninspired about all the really cool technology of this universe. I needed to come to the forums for that

[wakela]

I thought the world was cool, but the story itself seemed more a prop to show us the world than vice versa. I believe it should be the other way around, which is why this story probably didn't really resonate with me.

I have to agree with this assessment. In fact, I found the slowness of the plot actually detracted from the world building. Feeling ho-hum about the plot, left me uninspired about all the really cool technology of this universe. I needed to come to the forums for that

Yes.  Plus a very unlikeable MC.

[alicebean]

I absolutely loved this one. It isn't the first EP episode to leave my stomach wooshy like a good story should, but it is the first to get me to comment.

I loved the internal tyrades! I used to scream monologues like these alone in my back yard when I was an angsty adolescent with too much time and not enough perspective.

I had a pit in my stomach from the first mention of a break up to the first phone call on Christmas Eve. The pace was slow enough for me to agonize over the characters' fates, and when the puppetmom was walking all over the climax, I wanted to scream!

I laughed out loud more than once, and any story that can make me feel like I'm about to be broken up with has earned its space on my hard drive.

[Listener]

I used to scream monologues like these alone in my back yard when I was an angsty adolescent with too much time and not enough perspective.

I still do that, except replace the following items:

used to = currently
back yard = head
when I was an angsty adolescent with too much time and not enough perspective = because every healthy outlet for my anger has been taken away

I think we all do this to a greater or lesser degree, and I think that might be why the author kept calling back to the MC doing it. Didn't work quite so well for me unfortunately.

[Kate_Baker]

Stories like these are good for Kate Baker, because she can act the world-weary/downtrodden part quite well.

Awww, Listener! That's gotta be the nicest thing you've ever said about me!

Thanks to everyone who liked the narration. This was one of the fun ones to read. I love JPK.

[Listener]

Stories like these are good for Kate Baker, because she can act the world-weary/downtrodden part quite well.

Awww, Listener! That's gotta be the nicest thing you've ever said about me!

Not QUITE sure how to take that. *g*

[Swamp]

Stories like these are good for Kate Baker, because she can act the world-weary/downtrodden part quite well.

Awww, Listener! That's gotta be the nicest thing you've ever said about me!

Not QUITE sure how to take that. *g*

That's probably how she felt as well   

(yes, I resisted the urge to start with "That's what she said", but I can't resist the urge to add it parenthetically)

[Subgenre]

I like the world presented in this story because it's a nice contrast to the respectable, orderly gerontocracy of the book "Holy Fire". The idea that the immortal baby-boomers (or their future equivalent) would be seen as irresponsible and selfish rather than overbearingly interested in stability is an interesting take grounded in human behavior.

[Bdoomed]

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!
Okay so I really hated Mel for most of the story...
and the "but I didn't" was realistic, but a bit repetitive, but okay by me overall.  I found myself saying it along with Kate. (awesome narration BTW).

And the end.  AwwwwwwwwwwwwwwWWWW!!!
Cute cute cute cute.

[Unblinking]

Nice story.  The "But I didn't" got a little old, but was worth it for the payoff at the end to complete the sappy ending.  The cool technology kept me interested when the moping got a little too thick.  Especially her timeshare parents--great idea!  And the fact that her parents will apparently always continue to exist is somehow both encouraging and depressing.  When that becomes possible, the circle of life is disrupted in a very strange way.  On the one hand, who DOESN'T want to live longer, but this way is rather parasitic, continuing to demand more and more of your children and never allowing them to really live their own lives.

[Gamercow]

This struck all the wrong chords with me.  I didn't like the MC or her attitude, didn't like Mel, didn't like her parents, didn't like "Midwest Vocal" guy, didn't really see the point of having the living doll thing in there for her parents at all, other than to make it more SFy,(yes, I understand that it was used to bring her parents back into her life, and the complexities thereof, but this could have been done with living people) and honestly could not bring myself to give one whit about anyone or anything in the story, other than the neat candy.  Let me be clear here, this was a well written story, but just resonated with me in all the wrong ways. 

I'd also like to find this one in print, and see if it works any better for me, not for lack of understanding, but because there's just something about most Kathryn Baker readings that frustrate/aggravate me.  I just think she gets all the stories with bitter, negative, passive agressive female MCs.  Its probably a testament to her abilities that she can read them so well that they get under my skin so much. 

[Alasdair5000]

If you're not already, go check out the Clarkesworld podcast.  I'm a fan of Kate's readings at the best of times but her work on the last four episodes over there is to my mind exceptional.

[Gamercow]

If you're not already, go check out the Clarkesworld podcast.  I'm a fan of Kate's readings at the best of times but her work on the last four episodes over there is to my mind exceptional.

I will go do that.  I really enjoyed her in Pirate Solutions, so I'm pretty sure its not her, but the characters I dislike.

[DKT]

If you're not already, go check out the Clarkesworld podcast.  I'm a fan of Kate's readings at the best of times but her work on the last four episodes over there is to my mind exceptional.

Ditto this.

[yicheng]

I was a big annoyed by the story, but in the end I loved it.  I liked the human-ness of all the characters, even the robot parents.