Author Topic: Pseudopod 199: Broken Bough  (Read 17505 times)

Bdoomed

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on: June 19, 2010, 03:54:30 AM
Pseudopod 199: Broken Bough


By Daniel I. Russell
Read by Graeme Dunlop

John walked into the small kitchen. About to pitch the hot tea across the room, he took a slow breath, tipped the drink down the sink and delicately placed the mug at the side. Hands covering his eyes, he leaned back against the table.

“Why?” he asked. “Why us? What did we do?”

Fists squeezed, he rubbed his eyelids, cursing God, cursing the events looped on the news, cursing Emma for burying her head in the sand and pretending everything was fine. Nothing was fine. Not a fucking thing.

He stank. He ignored it.

It had all begun three days ago. Dressing, washing, eating. None of it seemed important anymore. The first thing he’d prepared in that time was the mug of tea, and that was a peace offering.

“Get off the damn balcony!” he screamed and pounded his fists on the table top. The wine glasses at the centre jumped and clinked. A decision was needed. If Emma took the easy way out…

He’d be the one left to make it.




Listen to this week's Pseudopod.

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empathy44

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Reply #1 on: June 19, 2010, 06:24:38 AM
::Possible spoiler::

Particularly nice mash up of life after baby trauma, modern isolation, crib death and zombie apocalypse. I enjoyed the puzzle aspect--trying to figure out what was going on. It kept the tension going, until you realized that the true nature of the issue. It was a nice change to not see mass chaos in the streets--less bang, more whimper.



deflective

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Reply #2 on: June 19, 2010, 09:19:33 AM
an admiral shot at finding a fresh take on the zombie genre.  my favourite part of the story was the switching between the two characters, how their inner motivations translated to action and how they were read by their spouse.  it was handled particularly well at times.

on the other hand, the narrative tricks used to hide/foreshadow the zombie outbreak were rough at best.  any story that circles around an essential reveal that it holds back until the end needs to be handled carefully.  lines like, 'nothing has been the same since it happened,' can come across like a kid taunting, 'i know something you don't know.'

annoying at best, annoying & a little sad if you've already figured it out.



empathy44

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Reply #3 on: June 19, 2010, 03:02:44 PM
annoying at best, annoying & a little sad if you've already figured it out.

Did you figure it out before the tip of the hand? I didn't. What clued you in?



deflective

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Reply #4 on: June 19, 2010, 05:50:05 PM
i was never really certain in this story (coulda been some sort of planetwide mutation of newborns, or the like) but zombies seemed most likely when he went for the rolling pin.  so, pretty much right at the end anyway.



Kaa

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Reply #5 on: June 19, 2010, 10:15:04 PM
I have to say that this is probably--no, there is no ‘probably.’ This is the best story I’ve heard on Pseudopod. Possibly Podcastle and Escape Pod as well. Hands down. Ever. I very seldom listen to any story more than once unless there were sound issues. I listened to this one three times.

Kibitzer does a simply fantastic job of reading this story. His reading gave the characters and situations depth and gravitas that I think mere words on a page would have lacked. The raw emotion in the kitchen scene…kudos, man. Kudos.

But beyond the superb reading, this is simply a great story. We go through most of it thinking that one thing is happening, and find out at the end that it was something entirely different. It did this superbly. It is a masterfully crafted work of art. And at the same time, it is deeply chilling and, yes, horrifying.

Is this a suicidal mother going through post-partum depression, contemplating suicide because the baby just won't...stop...crying? A psychotic father who can’t stand his baby crying and yet doesn’t want the mother to feed it? Which one of them is cracking up? Or could it be both of them?

And while you’re trying to make up your mind what’s going on, the story slowly unfolds, like a flower opening its petals. Or, given the theme, like a corpse splitting open from decay.

And then, even when we think we know what’s going on--there are subtle hints--when he reaches into that drawer and pulls out…a rolling pin? We’re once again confused. Why not a knife?

And then, that ending. Where you realize what’s been happening. And you wonder, “Why didn’t I get it before?” So you go back and listen to the story again, and this time, it’s even more chilling because you know exactly what’s going on…and it’s even better.

I must find this story in print and buy whatever it is I have to buy to get my own copy.

Pseudopod, thank you.

Why the hell wasn’t this nominated for a Hugo?

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countblackula

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Reply #6 on: June 21, 2010, 12:19:16 PM
I get it now.


This was a really good story. Pretty intense.

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Boggled Coriander

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Reply #7 on: June 21, 2010, 12:27:09 PM
This is very, very good stuff.

I'm going to come right out and say that, prior to the big reveal, this story bore a certain resemblance to a story I wrote for the Pseudopod flash contest, but ultimately didn't submit because I couldn't quite get it to come together.  It was a "the world is ending, how do we react?" sort of story.

So it was welcome hearing that sort of thing done well here. 

I did NOT see that reveal coming; in fact, I figured just a few minutes in that there wouldn't be a reveal, and we'd just be hearing about psychological reactions to some unspecified world-catastrophe.  It was handled very well, and... well, I usually don't like zombie stories, but I've noticed lately that every time I talk about how I usually don't like zombie stories, I put a "but" after it.  Maybe it's time for me to reassess my tastes.

Once again, nice job, kibitzer.

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Reply #8 on: June 21, 2010, 05:06:29 PM
Did anyone else expect, from the very beginning, that the baby would get dropped off the balcony?  This is because it reminded me of the most morbid lullaby ever, Rock-a-bye Baby. 

Quote
Rock-a-bye baby, on the treetop.
When the wind blows the cradle will rock.
When the bough breaks the cradle will fall
and down will come baby, cradle and all.

I'm guessing that's what "Broken Bough" was supposed to indicate, but I'm not sure.  Anyone else have a guess?  The balcony drop would've been foreshadowed by the mother contemplating the drop, and her death at the end could've been her following the baby both literally and figuratively.  Since I guessed about him dropping the cradle off the balcony, the actual death didn't come as a huge surprise, though the method wasn't what I expected. 

i mostly liked it, because of the mix of apparent post-partum depression, apparent child-starvation by the father, and the zombies mixed in.

What I didn't like was how far it bent over backwards to conceal the nature of the world's problem.  It's only a slight variation on Strange Horizons' list of "stories we've seen too often":

Quote
A mysteriously-named Event is about to happen ("Today was the day Jimmy would have to report for The Procedure"), but the nature of the Event isn't revealed until the end of the story, when it turns out to involve death or other unpleasantness. (Several classic sf stories use this approach, which is one reason we're tired of seeing it. Another reason is that we can usually guess the twist well ahead of time, which makes the mysteriousness annoying.)

It's slightly different in this story because event has already happened, instead of going to happen, but the principle is the same and perhaps even stronger because everyone here is already aware of what HAS happened.



Millenium_King

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Reply #9 on: June 21, 2010, 06:01:40 PM
I strongly disliked this story.  In my opinion, 100% of the tension is derived from information deliberately withheld from the listener/reader.  This is not drama, it is a narrative trick; by the end I felt cheated.  It's akin a movie composed solely of everyone shouting "Oh no!  The thing is coming!"  The characters know what it is, they can see it, but it's hidden from the viewer.

In a story structured this way, the big "payoff" is the final moment of revelation unto the reader not unto the character.  The most dangerous thing about playing this game is that if the payoff is not impressive enough to the reader, the story can fall flat.  For me, the revelation at the end was utterly insufficient to justify the literary "blue balls."

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Boggled Coriander

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Reply #10 on: June 22, 2010, 02:15:28 AM
So I was the only one who (a) thought there wouldn't be any reveal, and (b) was okay with that?

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MacArthurBug

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Reply #11 on: June 22, 2010, 12:37:37 PM
Wonderfully horrible. I squirmed so many times during this. What parent of a fussy newborn doesn't at times wonder if they're raising a monster. The gritty horrible reality of these two small lives struggling. I'm thankful for the quiet thump instead of lurid descriptions.

Very well woven. Very well read. Nightmare inducing.

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Unblinking

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Reply #12 on: June 22, 2010, 01:34:04 PM
So I was the only one who (a) thought there wouldn't be any reveal, and (b) was okay with that?

If that was what was intended, then the story sure went out of its way to obscure this information.



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Reply #13 on: June 22, 2010, 04:10:32 PM
I thought this story was brilliantly written, and as always, Alisdare's comments bookended it perfectly.

I strongly disliked this story.  In my opinion, 100% of the tension is derived from information deliberately withheld from the listener/reader.  This is not drama, it is a narrative trick; by the end I felt cheated.  It's akin a movie composed solely of everyone shouting "Oh no!  The thing is coming!"  The characters know what it is, they can see it, but it's hidden from the viewer.

In a story structured this way, the big "payoff" is the final moment of revelation unto the reader not unto the character.  The most dangerous thing about playing this game is that if the payoff is not impressive enough to the reader, the story can fall flat.  For me, the revelation at the end was utterly insufficient to justify the literary "blue balls."

I disagree insofar as I believe that the success or failure of this story depends on the ability of the listener to connect with the author. If you really didn't already suspect a zombie situation after about one minute and weren't expecting the father to mash the baby after minute five and were hoping for resounding confirmation: "AND IT WAS ZOMBIES!" then yes, I think you would be disappointed. Personally, the reality of the situation was completely secondary. It could be zombies, baby plague, mutant Martian spores--whatever. The horror is the people not knowing what to do about something that's completely out of their control, plus not being able to fully trust each other as the spiral deepens. But I agree with MacArthurBug, that position may be one more natural to married folks and/or parents. The point is, I don't think the story failed at anything, I think maybe you just didn't connect to it, and that's okay.

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Nitequill

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Reply #14 on: June 22, 2010, 04:15:12 PM
I don't know what I think about the reveal issue but this is most definately a case where the reader added rather than detracted from the text. The reading was sensible and measured and expressive without being hysteronic. Very very nice reading.

The story is comendable in tackling a bunch of interesting emotional stuff but I don't know about the reveal thing. The twist got me but I can't say I'm not conflicted about twist endings in principal.



Millenium_King

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Reply #15 on: June 22, 2010, 05:46:20 PM
If you really didn't already suspect a zombie situation after about one minute and weren't expecting the father to mash the baby after minute five and were hoping for resounding confirmation: "AND IT WAS ZOMBIES!" then yes, I think you would be disappointed.  Personally, the reality of the situation was completely secondary. It could be zombies, baby plague, mutant Martian spores--whatever.

If the situation was so obvious and/or unimportant - why play games then?  Why not just reveal it right up front?  The characters obviously know - so why jerk around the reader?

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Nerraux

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Reply #16 on: June 22, 2010, 09:15:50 PM
...Or why clutter it with inconsequential details? Something bad is going on. It's not unique to the family because the TV is chillin' folks out. The story is how it's effecting this couple and their dead-ish kid. There's no jerking, just an assumption that the reader/listener/audience is able to go with the flow enough to ride what's going on without being clobbered over the head with everything.

To me, it's like when my goober friend points out an inconsistency or hyperbole in a joke I'm telling to someone new. Yes, it's not perfectly accurate, but I've figured out how to tell it so that the important feelings get across without getting mired in syntax, and now you've gone and ruined the joke with your Star-Trek fanboy-like obsession with consistency, Jake, so SHUT THE HELL UP and GO AWAY so I can tell this damn fart joke!!!

sorry...the interior role-playing got a little intense there...



Millenium_King

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Reply #17 on: June 22, 2010, 10:38:06 PM
...Or why clutter it with inconsequential details?

I see.  So now the zombie plague is an "inconsequential detail?"

I'm not really sure what your point is.  It seems to be: "it's okay if a story is deceptively vague, just roll with it."  We'll just have to agree to disagree, then.

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SanguineV

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Reply #18 on: June 23, 2010, 01:06:35 AM
I enjoyed the way the horror here was not focused on the external threat, but firmly rooted in the minds, decisions and relationships of a tiny microcosm. Ultimately the zombies are only adding the the pressure, it could just as well be a war, or weather, or anything else that keeps the couple isolated. The disturbing aspects are considering how someone might abuse those close to them or feel that the only way out is to kill someone.

I agree with some of the other posters points on the external threat being a little laboured. That said, to me it was not really the focus of the story and so the details of what it was (and whether they were surprising or painfully predictable) are not important.

The concluding fall from the balcony was very obvious - I am not sure if this was intentional by the author (the title and constant reference to it seemed so). I guess it added a little misdirection to the rolling pin incident, but kind of ruined potential to have an unexpected conclusion.

Overall I think the story was pretty well done and well read, definitely one of the ones to reach me more recently.



Listener

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Reply #19 on: June 23, 2010, 01:03:23 PM
I didn't like this story for two reasons:

1. I have a child and I used to feel so powerless when she was crying uncontrollably for (what seemed like) no reason that hearing the description of Elliot crying really upset me. But then, when I read about the starving Bajoran children in the ST:DS9 occupation trilogy, that upset me too. I guess it's different when you have kids. Which is weird, because in a story I'm shopping around, the mom kills the kids so the dad can't abuse them.

2. The amount of time we spent before we found out it was a zombie apocalypse made the story feel overblown and drawn out for no reason. I understand why the author was doing it, but after about ten minutes I was like "get ON with it already!"

The writing was pretty good, and the idea was sound. I just personally didn't like the story.

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blueeyeddevil

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Reply #20 on: June 23, 2010, 03:09:42 PM
Sometimes stories aren't about surprising you. If absolute originality were required of every new work of fiction the world's libraries would be skinny indeed. You know Sherlock Holmes is going to figure out the crime and reveal it dramatically at the end, but you follow it anyway because you know there is something clever in the text that you missed which will be important.

I personally like two types of stories (or poems, or songs, or really any artistic oevre): the genuinely shocking, and the carefully thought out. 

This story is a very well done case-study of cabin-fever and parental anxiety. As an experiment; find some friends of yours who've had a colicky baby. Play this story for them, stopping before the
Spoiler (click to show/hide)



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Reply #21 on: June 24, 2010, 01:29:20 PM
Sometimes stories aren't about surprising you.

True.  But by so obviously obscuring "The Event" from the reader throughout the story, the author set this one up as a "twist" story.



eytanz

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Reply #22 on: June 26, 2010, 10:02:05 PM
I think this was a great story spoiled somewhat by the ham-handed way the author handled the mystery and ambiguity for the first half of the story. I actually liked that things were never really stated explicitly and rather it was left for us to figure out. But I got really annoyed at the coy, deliberate sections in the beginning, with everyone talking about what is happening without mentioning what is happening. Ambiguity is great, but the story lampshaded its ambiguity to a degree that was distracting.

Once it got over that, I really did appreciate the story, a very effective piece of people collapsing under competing pressures (something wrong with their kid, something wrong with the world, stuck in a flat, differences in personality emerging and destroying their trust in each other). And, while the story was never explicit about the nature of the zombies, beyond the fact that corpses were re-animating, the zombie baby was a new angle (for me) that added a lot to it. I guess the option was open that the reanimated dead were not violent, but in the context of previous zombie stories, the image of the toothless baby biting on its mother's breast was truly horrific.



lisavilisa

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Reply #23 on: June 27, 2010, 02:45:38 AM
the zombie baby was a new angle (for me) that added a lot to it. I guess the option was open that the reanimated dead were not violent, but in the context of previous zombie stories, the image of the toothless baby biting on its mother's breast was truly horrific.

Well, even if the undead were violent, how much damage could a toothless baby zombie do?  I think the crying might have been the best it could do.



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Reply #24 on: June 28, 2010, 07:17:25 AM
Finally listened to the story.  Came here to say what eytanz said.  Saw eytanz already said it.  Sighed to myself.

I could have done with a bit more of the actual conflict between the two (which I took as a combination of denial about their baby being dead and arguing over whose fault it was).  As it was, the story did a considerable amount of dancing and deliberate obfuscation.  I like it when things are left unexplained.  I dislike it when a story thinks it's being clever about hiding crap from me.  (I had a brief moment of hope at the very beginning that there was something weird about the weather itself, but right about the time the word "riot" was mentioned, I sighed and settled in for Yet Another Zombie Apocalypse.)  I think this technique is particularly problematic in that someone who *doesn't* read genre fiction at all would read this story and go, "Um... I have no idea what happened," while someone who is *too* genre savvy will, as I and several others did, pick up on the hints after three lines and expect the author to do more than just reveal a zombie apocalypse at the end.

I suspect part of the reason we didn't get to see more of the interesting character conflict is because of the need to keep the "secret" of What's Wrong With Elliot, and any sort of in-depth conversation between the parents would make that explicit in a second.  I was interested in the character conflict, and I'd have preferred a lot less bother concealing that the friggin' baby is already friggin' dead and had some actual character development instead.  The little monologue about what he wanted to do with his son was pretty nice; it would have been better if we had been able to see it without the looming cloud of "I'm Not Telling You About the Zombies" that hovered around every friggin' line.