Author Topic: Story collaboration with a young gay man  (Read 5049 times)

Swamp

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on: December 31, 2010, 05:25:19 PM
I am planning to write a story which involves a gay young man; and I would like to collaborate with a young gay man so that I can give an authentic representation and aviod any stereotypes and suchforth. 

The charcter is a gay man in his twenties.  I would like to have back and forth conversations with this person and have them read through the story when it is written and make suggestions to make sure I am not providing false information or misrepresenting.  I would also like it to be someone who can civily discuss opposing views.

Why come here for this?  For the most part, I trust this audience, and believe most people here are pretty insightful.  And everyone here likes stories.  So if anyone is interested in working with me on this, please send me a PM, or email me at kmmrlatham@hotmail.com.

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Scattercat

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Reply #1 on: December 31, 2010, 05:39:27 PM
One person's experience won't necessarily be representative; the variety of lifestyles isn't any different from those experienced by heterosexuals.  Just write an actual person having a relationship with an actual other person.  There's nothing magic or secret about being gay.  The major difference would be in how society reacts to, for example, holding hands in public or kissing goodbye at the airport.

(Although according to my friend Jaime there is a whole list of jargon and terminology with which I was previously unfamiliar.  My understanding of 'twink,' for instance, was colored by D&D, where a twink is a powergamed character.)



Heradel

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Reply #2 on: December 31, 2010, 06:39:21 PM
The Stranger's SavageLove 'cast is probably a good way to pick up a lot of the terminology. Though there's a selection bias in the relationships that show up there.

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Swamp

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Reply #3 on: December 31, 2010, 07:50:53 PM
One person's experience won't necessarily be representative; the variety of lifestyles isn't any different from those experienced by heterosexuals.  Just write an actual person having a relationship with an actual other person.  There's nothing magic or secret about being gay.  The major difference would be in how society reacts to, for example, holding hands in public or kissing goodbye at the airport.

(Although according to my friend Jaime there is a whole list of jargon and terminology with which I was previously unfamiliar.  My understanding of 'twink,' for instance, was colored by D&D, where a twink is a powergamed character.)

You're exactly right.  Everybody is an individual.  I am not looking to represent all gay men, just one gay man.  The feedback I am after will actually be personal rather than wide reaching.

To stop mincing words, let me just lay out the premise of the story I am thinking of.  A man dies in a random accident, but wants to go back to help his son who is going through a crisis.  He learns in the afterlife that he cannot go back himself, but can reach out to his son through the last person that he had contact with on earth.  This last contact is a gay man that he has never met.  Their relationship will be crucial to the story so I wanted to collaborate with someone on a personal level to work out this relationship.  Finiding that person through a random forum seemed like a good idea.

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Scattercat

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Reply #4 on: December 31, 2010, 08:15:10 PM
I don't know that I understand why you need an actual gay man, then.  It doesn't sound like his being gay has much of anything to do with the story.  What would the function of the random forum dude be, exactly?  Are you just going to base the character on him or something?



Swamp

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Reply #5 on: December 31, 2010, 09:49:06 PM
Not so much to base the character on him, but maybe do a little role playing for their interaction.  I do not know anybody who is openly gay and am concerned about writing the story and being blasted for an inaccurate portrayal.  I see there being some conflict between the MC and the gay man at first and I don't want it to be superficial, typical fare.  I want both characters to be complex.  I don't know maybe it's just a bad idea.

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Scattercat

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Reply #6 on: December 31, 2010, 11:01:42 PM
Well, you don't need to know any openly gay men.  Just write a normal guy.  Maybe a bit more conscious of appearance than a typical dude - my buddy Jaime reads GQ and uses moisturizers *before* he actually gets chapped lips and hands, for instance, compared to my standard-issue nerdy slob approach - but there's messy, grungy gay dudes too.  The only real difference, on average, between a random dude and a random gay dude is A) Who makes them turn their heads and go, "Damn!" and B) How willing/able they are to do that in public without worrying about getting punched.  They're just dudes from any and every walk of life and they run more or less the same gamut of personalities.  Some guys are masculine, some are really hyper-masculine, others are more what you'd see as a "stereotypical" gay man, etc.  Everyone's got a mix of traits in them, though; Lord knows I've been mistaken as homosexual more than once, yet I have almost no interest in actual same-sex relations.  In the same way, a gay man might be really, really exaggeratedly "gay" or he might be nearly undetectable until he tells you himself. 

If you really feel like you can't possibly write one without any real-world experience, look up your local gay hangout and spend an evening drinking and observing quietly.  You can watch any number of casual interactions in an atmosphere of minimal fear.  Just don't, like, take a notebook or start loudly announcing that you're not gay and are just looking for some information. 



Swamp

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Reply #7 on: January 01, 2011, 12:35:18 AM
Just don't, like, take a notebook or start loudly announcing that you're not gay and are just looking for some information. 

 :D  Ha.  Yeah, Idon't think I'll do that.

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kibitzer

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Reply #8 on: January 02, 2011, 07:19:53 AM
Just don't, like, take a notebook or start loudly announcing that you're not gay and are just looking for some information. 

Why not? Sounds like a plan. That's how I usually research stuff. Didn't work out so well at the KKK meeting I went to, though.


Listener

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Reply #9 on: January 20, 2011, 09:20:16 PM
Write the story first. Then worry about how it comes across.

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Swamp

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Reply #10 on: January 20, 2011, 10:28:21 PM
Good plan.  I have started to plan it out, but I need to just start writing.

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wakela

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Reply #11 on: January 28, 2011, 06:24:32 AM
I agree that sitting in a corner with a notebook at a gay bar wouldn't be the best move.  Wouldn't be a good move at a SF convention, either.  But I bet if he struck up a conversation with some of the patrons or the bartender, he would have some fascinating conversations.  Maybe have some questions in mind that relate to the story.   I think most gay men would be happy to talk about gay culture with a non-hostile outsider.  Same with SF geeks.