Great story. It was about the people, and not some convoluted supernatural logic like many horror stories are. Flat Diane was not made from some ancient paper recovered from the estate sale of a voodoo priestess or the Lost Scissors of Blabidyblah.
Ian basically murders a guy who didn't do anything. There is child pornography is his apartment ("and worse", whatever that could be), but there's not a bloody matress and handcuffs. For all we know The Beast would never actually hurt a child. But what happens to Diane because of The Beast's actions needs to be answered for, and Ian's actions are entirely justifiable...or maybe I should say "understandable." I'm not sure that I wouldn't have done any different. This unclear morality really gives the story some meat.
I particularly like the complex exchange between Ian and Toshiro (?) when Ian asks him to look after Diane. The subtle mixture of trust, mis-trust, manly protectiveness, and manly stoicism, all with the undercurrent that Ian is telling his friend that he's about to commit murder is very real and powerful.
Good ending. This particuar situation is resolved. But there isn't a sequel establishing final scene with another madman opening a mailing tube, and this leaves the whole thing unresolved -- in a good way. Flat Diane is still out there, and Ian may never be able to protect his daughter.
I didn't mind the length, itself, but I don't think this story needed it. There passages like "Flying would have been quicker, but I had taken my gun out of storage. You can drive with a gun, but you can't fly with one. Well, maybe you can, but it's not easy." I know about flying with guns, it does not need to be explained. However for every one of these passages there were others that may not have been necessary, but added mood, like the half eaten egg on The Beast's breakfast table.
I thought the first half of the story dragged. There are so many stories of broken families and so many actual broken families, that it wasn't that interesting to me. I might have given up had it been more poorly written. True that the rest of the story works better because of the relationships established with Kit and Toshiro, but I don't think the Scottish Gradmother added anything.
More of this please.