Author Topic: EP382: They Go Bump  (Read 19749 times)

matweller

  • EA Staff
  • *****
  • Posts: 678
Reply #25 on: February 13, 2013, 05:50:48 PM
Wait 'til we get a story about paranoia from thinking mirrors are actually windows into other dimensions...


;)


Seriously...I'm still pretty sure girls can hear my thoughts. I've got a mild paranoia for every day of the week.



Scattercat

  • Caution:
  • Hipparch
  • ******
  • Posts: 4904
  • Amateur wordsmith
    • Mirrorshards
Reply #26 on: February 13, 2013, 07:43:02 PM
Wait 'til we get a story about paranoia from thinking mirrors are actually windows into other dimensions...

NOTICE NOTICE NOTICE

THIS IS NOT A REQUEST FROM MANAGEMENT IN ANY WAY STOP

PLEASE DO NOT WRITE A MIRROR-BASED STORY UNLESS YOU KNOW VERY WELL WHAT YOU ARE DOING STOP

ALSO SERIOUSLY WE HAVE ENOUGH TIME TRAVEL STOP

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND ATTENTION STOP

ENJOY THE STORY STOP

STOP MEANS THE END OF THE SENTENCE NOT THAT YOU SHOULD NOT ENJOY THE STORY THE STORY IS VERY ENJOYABLE STOP



Scumpup

  • Peltast
  • ***
  • Posts: 102
  • ...
Reply #27 on: February 13, 2013, 07:45:35 PM


Not surprisingly, I still disagree.  This story is told from the tight POV of grunts in the field who admit even to themselves that they are unimportant.  There's no reason to think that Command is telilng them the whole story, and so to try to understand the whole picture you have to think about why command would choose the mission parameters the way they did.

Perhaps personal history is coming into play here.  I can personally attest that grunts always consider themselves unimportant.  Command is never telling them the whole story.  The grunts in the story talking among themselves that way doesn't raise my suspicions at all because grunts frequently talk that way.



Thunderscreech

  • Lochage
  • *****
  • Posts: 350
Reply #28 on: February 13, 2013, 09:29:34 PM
Everyone knows that WE'RE the ones living in the mirror anyways and that the real universe is what we see when we look OUT through the looking glass.



matweller

  • EA Staff
  • *****
  • Posts: 678
Reply #29 on: February 14, 2013, 12:42:30 AM
Also I fear the garbage disposal more than almost anything.

Hmmm, I wonder if all of my paranoia are based on House movies...



chemistryguy

  • Matross
  • ****
  • Posts: 263
  • Serving the Detroit Metro area since 1970
    • 5000 People can't be wrong...or can they?
Reply #30 on: February 14, 2013, 12:53:19 PM
Quote from: Scattercat link=topic=6733.msg108273#msg108273

ALSO SERIOUSLY WE HAVE ENOUGH TIME TRAVEL STOP

No.  Not ever never.
« Last Edit: February 14, 2013, 12:54:51 PM by chemistryguy »



Unblinking

  • Sir Postsalot
  • Hipparch
  • ******
  • Posts: 8729
    • Diabolical Plots
Reply #31 on: February 14, 2013, 03:29:43 PM
Perhaps personal history is coming into play here.  I can personally attest that grunts always consider themselves unimportant.  Command is never telling them the whole story.  The grunts in the story talking among themselves that way doesn't raise my suspicions at all because grunts frequently talk that way.

So... Command is never telling them the whole story. It kind of sounds like you agree with me.  :)



Scumpup

  • Peltast
  • ***
  • Posts: 102
  • ...
Reply #32 on: February 14, 2013, 03:44:55 PM
No grunt ever knows the whole story in real life.  Grunts constantly feel unimportant in real life.  Those things, as a result, don't signify anything sinister to me in the story.  They don't even usually signify anything sinister in real life. 



Nny

  • Extern
  • *
  • Posts: 7
Reply #33 on: February 15, 2013, 03:35:49 PM
edit: i saw my original comment was previously addressed



as with any sci-fi, a suspension of disbelief let's me enjoy this story the way I believe the author wanted



Talia

  • Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 2682
  • Muahahahaha
Reply #34 on: February 15, 2013, 04:43:03 PM
Deliciously creepy, with an appropriately sinister and uncertain finale. Although I want to know what the evil aliens look like! :)




Scattercat

  • Caution:
  • Hipparch
  • ******
  • Posts: 4904
  • Amateur wordsmith
    • Mirrorshards
Reply #35 on: February 15, 2013, 07:02:12 PM
Quote from: Scattercat link=topic=6733.msg108273#msg108273

ALSO SERIOUSLY WE HAVE ENOUGH TIME TRAVEL STOP

No.  Not ever never.

By definition, any amount of time travel is automatically enough for all time.



Kaa

  • Hipparch
  • ******
  • Posts: 620
  • Trusst in me, jusst in me.
    • WriteWright
Reply #36 on: February 19, 2013, 01:32:35 AM
I absolutely loved this story, in spite of whatever problems others have pointed out. I'm with Unblinking pretty much all the way.

Except...I totally went with a fourth possibility.

Sweezy was the only alien, period. He was telling the truth about one alien being the voices of all the other soldiers. Two things tipped me off.

1. As Ball was about to look at the body of the alien, Sweezy said, "No, don't look at it." How did Sweezy know that Ball was just about to look unless he could see Ball?

2. Sweezy fired FOUR rounds, if I remember correctly. To kill just one alien. I believe Sweezy fired four times because he was killing the other four soldiers. He told Ball not to look because if he HAD looked, he would have seen the bodies of his buddies.

But what makes it wonderful is, as Unblinking pointed out, we CAN interpret what happened all these ways and more.

I invent imaginary people and make them have conversations in my head. I also write.

About writing || About Atheism and Skepticism (mostly) || About Everything Else


El Barto

  • Peltast
  • ***
  • Posts: 132
Reply #37 on: February 21, 2013, 02:21:13 AM
I loved this story but had a very different take on what happened to the squad.  I finished the story quite certain that the squad was BAIT for the Kraven-Hish mercenaries.  My guess is they sent the squad out and then had Special Ops guys following silently behind.  And/or maybe Sweezy was Special Ops himself.

I wasn't put off at all by the possible plot holes even though I'm the kind of reader who sometimes gets frustrated with inconsistencies and implausible situations.  To me there was a reasonable explanation for everything, even if it wasn't spelled out.  The entire story was written from the POV of the grunts who are in the dark about all sorts of things. 




matweller

  • EA Staff
  • *****
  • Posts: 678
Reply #38 on: February 21, 2013, 02:13:28 PM
I loved this story but had a very different take on what happened to the squad.  I finished the story quite certain that the squad was BAIT for the Kraven-Hish mercenaries.  My guess is they sent the squad out and then had Special Ops guys following silently behind.  And/or maybe Sweezy was Special Ops himself.

This is my favorite position on the story. I'm adopting it as my own. It makes perfect sense, it has plenty of precedent behind it, and it explains pretty much everything complained about previously in this thread. I think if it were actually the author's intent, there would have been at least a few subtle differences, but if actual intent had anything to do with literature, every English lit. class I've ever witnessed would be criminally negligent  at least.



Unblinking

  • Sir Postsalot
  • Hipparch
  • ******
  • Posts: 8729
    • Diabolical Plots
Reply #39 on: February 21, 2013, 04:01:19 PM
No grunt ever knows the whole story in real life.  Grunts constantly feel unimportant in real life.  Those things, as a result, don't signify anything sinister to me in the story.  They don't even usually signify anything sinister in real life. 

I agree that grunts are generally not going to know the whole story, and will feel unimportant.  Those things alone aren't sinister, but they do allow more broad interpretations to be valid than if we saw this story from higher in the command structure.  What was sinister was the apparent complete lack of training these men received for the work they were embarking on.  You can interpret that as bad writing if you like, but I see no reason to do so.  The apparent plan was so colossally stupid it shouldn't take a master of strategy to realize it.  It's so stupid, that it smacks of a hidden agenda.



SF.Fangirl

  • Peltast
  • ***
  • Posts: 145
Reply #40 on: February 26, 2013, 03:50:42 AM
Yay!  Enjoyed it.  Wasn't entirely surprised when Sween(z)y reappeared, but didn't mind.  I do think there was something very suspicious about the warning not to look, but I lean toward Sweeny's story being the true and that he's not an alien.

Before the shots rang out, I did think the alien might reveal himself and be a cute furry creature, but that would have been less physiologically creepy.  I took the team to be made up of the expendables and hurriedly put together with no preparation so that's the explanation for the the mission failure.  I kind wish more had been revealed, but I am also glad we can play with out own endings.



matweller

  • EA Staff
  • *****
  • Posts: 678
Reply #41 on: February 26, 2013, 05:01:41 PM
For the record, I don't endorse this, but the ironic thought just occurred to me...

What if Sweezy didn't want Ball to look because the dead alien was Captain Schemmer? What if this is part of a larger story where the Sweez is part of a super-secret resistance that knows the enemy has infiltrated the brass? And then what if Sweezy didn't want Ball to look because if Ball knew, Sweezy & co. would either have to let him into their group or kill him?

Like I said, I don't endorse it, but it's a fun path to let your mind wander for a bit.



Unblinking

  • Sir Postsalot
  • Hipparch
  • ******
  • Posts: 8729
    • Diabolical Plots
Reply #42 on: February 28, 2013, 02:56:28 PM
For the record, I don't endorse this, but the ironic thought just occurred to me...

What if Sweezy didn't want Ball to look because the dead alien was Captain Schemmer? What if this is part of a larger story where the Sweez is part of a super-secret resistance that knows the enemy has infiltrated the brass? And then what if Sweezy didn't want Ball to look because if Ball knew, Sweezy & co. would either have to let him into their group or kill him?

Like I said, I don't endorse it, but it's a fun path to let your mind wander for a bit.

Ha! I like it!  I think that's one of the less supported interpretations, but I also don't think it's disproven by the text.  :)



Bellmason

  • Extern
  • *
  • Posts: 1
Reply #43 on: March 01, 2013, 10:33:00 AM
Dreadful, just dreadful! "Repetetive," said Ball, "and repetitive" said doodad, "and repetitive" said whatsisname.

I got sooooo bored listening to this I decided I wanted to listen to something entertaining instead, and looked at my iPod to discover I wasn't even half way through the story?

I think the problem was it wasn't suited very well to audio. The names being repeated every third or fourth word got really annoying very fast. There were about three too many characters in the thing to keep track of too, all too similar. It might have worked as a 'radio play' with actors delivering the dialogue, but not being read out. Is any consideration given to how a story will sound in the ear when the editors are buying stories?

After the initial set-up, things just got very tedious very fast. It was just a bunch of identical sounding guys stumbling around in a quarry. I got that there was a good idea at the heart of this, but the plot, if there was one, didn't come over very well. It needed to be a lot shorter. Maybe it worked ok on the page, but as audio it was tedious.



Unblinking

  • Sir Postsalot
  • Hipparch
  • ******
  • Posts: 8729
    • Diabolical Plots
Reply #44 on: March 01, 2013, 03:37:07 PM
Is any consideration given to how a story will sound in the ear when the editors are buying stories?

I am not one of the editors, but I can say without hesitation: Yes, they do.  Though they may not have the same criteria as you.

I thought it translated fine to audio, meself.



Kaa

  • Hipparch
  • ******
  • Posts: 620
  • Trusst in me, jusst in me.
    • WriteWright
Reply #45 on: March 01, 2013, 04:23:15 PM
I thought it translated fine to audio, meself.

Ditto. I didn't have any problems.

I invent imaginary people and make them have conversations in my head. I also write.

About writing || About Atheism and Skepticism (mostly) || About Everything Else


Cutter McKay

  • Hipparch
  • ******
  • Posts: 952
  • "I was the turkey the whoooole time!"
    • Detention Block AA23
Reply #46 on: March 01, 2013, 06:21:33 PM
Is any consideration given to how a story will sound in the ear when the editors are buying stories?

I am not one of the editors, but I can say without hesitation: Yes, they do.  Though they may not have the same criteria as you.

I thought it translated fine to audio, meself.

I recall the Flash Contest from last year and a few of the stories that the editors were concerned had elements that wouldn't translate well in audio form. They definitely take it into consideration.

And I, too, thought it translated fine. I, for one, love Alisdair's voice. I can see Bellmason's concern that there may not have been a lot of differentiation between character's voices, but the narration was sufficient to separate them.

There were about three too many characters in the thing to keep track of too, all too similar.

But this serves a purpose in the story, with there being so many members of the squad that is was easier to dismiss or even forget about Sweezy, who ended up being the surprise reveal at the end. Even if you didn't completely forget about him, as I didn't, it still made it easier to dismiss him.

-Josh Morrey-
http://joshmorreywriting.blogspot.com/
"Remember: You have not yet written your best work." -Tracy Hickman


SF.Fangirl

  • Peltast
  • ***
  • Posts: 145
Reply #47 on: March 04, 2013, 01:38:46 AM

I think the problem was it wasn't suited very well to audio. The names being repeated every third or fourth word got really annoying very fast. There were about three too many characters in the thing to keep track of too, all too similar. It might have worked as a 'radio play' with actors delivering the dialogue, but not being read out. Is any consideration given to how a story will sound in the ear when the editors are buying stories?

I wonder that myself sometimes, and sometimes I swear that they didn't.  Those are usually the stories that are complex (involving dates sometimes) and lots of scene jumps that are not conveyed well in audio.  I didn't have that problem with this story because I didn't bother to keep track of who's who and it didn't seem to matter much.  Funnily enough I heard the main character named "Bull" through the story which seemed ironic since he was so meek and couldn't actually tell if the the other "survivor" was named Sweeney or Sleeney or something else close to that.



LaShawn

  • Lochage
  • *****
  • Posts: 550
  • Writer Mommies Rule!
    • The Cafe in the Woods
Reply #48 on: March 21, 2013, 05:11:03 PM
Yes, I too had a lot of questions with this one, and there were so many logic holes. But once the paranoia set in, I didn't care. I was sucked into the story. Freaky good! I love how the forum had taken up different theories on what *really* happened.

My take? None of it happened at all. Ball was really in some sort of deprivation chamber undergoing an experiment of the effects of invisibility, and, well, it snapped his brain.

--
Visit LaShawn at The Cafe in the Woods:
http://tbonecafe.wordpress.com
Another writer's antiblog: In Touch With Yours Truly


ancawonka

  • Palmer
  • **
  • Posts: 47
Reply #49 on: March 25, 2013, 04:33:04 AM
I listened to this one in the same week as "Scout" and the machine story by Michael Swanwick.  They are all very similar stories, but I enjoyed listening to all of them.

Initially I almost turned it off, because it was hard to keep track of the names (and, once I found out the soldiers were going a mission, I thought, "Not again") but got caught up in once the grunts left the base.   The delivery was really good once I started to figure out who the different character "voices" were - and Alisdair did a nice job of changing the intonation of Ball's fellow grunts after they had beed "killed". 

This wasn't one for logicians or nit-pickers, but it was enjoyable and was emotionally effective.