The thing that didn't work for me for this story is why she eloped. If the marriage was going to destroy the city one way or the other, why did she run away? It seems a very passive-aggressive thing to do, and makes me like her even less.
This story made me look forward to the release of Niel Gaiman's The Graveyard Book, which promises to be a much better read in a somewhat similar world.
This one's on my "to read" pile. Any recommendations to move it closer to the top?