I'm a moderator here at the new forums after bugging Steve for months about the spam problem in the old forums.
Since no-one ever reads the massive blocks of text people post about what they really like, I can say whatever I want without fear of reprisal. I like eating babies, tossing old shoes at people at shopping malls, and using my inflatable woman as a decoy to ride in the car pool lane. Actually, we don't have car pool lanes where I live. I don't actually have an inflatable woman, since they're too expensive. I can't bear to part with my old shoes because I always cling to the hope that I'll use them next time I have to slog through the swamp that is my back yard, but instead I leave my newer shoes on because I'm too lazy to switch my orthotic insoles to my old shoes, and then I ruin my newer shoes and end up just buying a new pair and my newer shoes become my new old shoes but they're not as old as my really old shoes so I keep all my shoes in case I need to, I don't know, have a pair in reserve or something. So I have all these old, nasty, dirty shoes around, and one day, I swear, I'm going to take them to the mall and chuck them at people who look like they need an old muddy shoe chucked at them. Like those guys who say "Hey, you got a crack in your windshield?" when you walk by their windshield-repair kiosk, or those other guys who try to get your attention at the cell phone kiosk. I'm like, Hey, when I'm ready to switch cell phone providers or fix the crack in my windshield, I'll come looking for you, and I ain't ever doin' it as a result of making inadvertent eye-contact with some 19-year-old at the mall. As for eating babies, well, if I were really doing that I'd be in prison, most likely, since it's kind of illegal to eat babies.