Author Topic: EP109: Squonk the Apprentice  (Read 27137 times)

Russell Nash

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on: June 07, 2007, 02:31:58 PM
EP109: Squonk the Apprentice

By P.M. Butler.
Read by Stephen and Anna Eley.

“What’s a ‘prentice?”

Without thinking, Wendel answered. “An apprentice is young person who wants to be a wizard, so they find an older wizard to teach them.”

The moment the words left his mouth, Wendel’s heart stopped and his eyes went wide. If he’d known a spell that could grab those words and stuff them back down his throat, he would have cast it.

Instead, those words scampered all the way across his bedroom, as words are inclined to do, and rushed into the ears of the dragon in the window. Wendel watched in horror as the words sunk into Squonk’s brain. Squonk’s eyes grew wide, his mouth dropped open, and before Wendel could think of anything to say–

“You can learn to be a wizard?! That’s awesome! I wanna be a wizard! Lemme be your ‘prentice!”


Rated G. Warning: It’s a children’s story about a dragon raised by a bluebird. Set content expectations accordingly.


Referenced Sites:
EP070: Squonk the Dragon
“How to Talk to Girls at Parties” by Neil Gaiman
2007 Hugo Nominees



Listen to this week’s Escape Pod!





Thaurismunths

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Reply #1 on: June 07, 2007, 03:13:30 PM
WOOHOO!
I haven't listened yet, but I already love it. ;)

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DKT

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Reply #2 on: June 07, 2007, 06:13:56 PM
I love that the guy who wrote the Squonk stories also wrote Lust for Life.  Hearing this is really nostalgic for me, because the first Escape Pod (and actually the first podcast) I ever heard was the original Squonk.  Today also happens to by my daughter's 2nd birthday and I'm looking forward to sharing these Squonk stories with her one day soon.  So a big thanks to Mr. Butler for writing them and Steve (and Anna) for running them!


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Reply #3 on: June 07, 2007, 06:33:11 PM
It was a real pleasure to hear another Squonk story.  These are wonderful.  I especially enjoyed the reading and am really glad that the same voices were used as this means I can make a set!

Good reading you two!


eytanz

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Reply #4 on: June 07, 2007, 07:54:25 PM
This was a lot of fun. I don't have children, but I hope that when I do and they reach the age they can appreciate a story of this length, Escape Pod will still be around so that I can download it and play it to them.



oddpod

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Reply #5 on: June 07, 2007, 08:37:04 PM
fab!
my kids love squonk,
as do i

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Mr. Tweedy

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Reply #6 on: June 07, 2007, 09:24:30 PM
That was a good kids' story.  Fun, funny, likeable charcters, with some good, simple lessons.

It reminded me of Beatrix Potter, with the silly names and the quirky talking animals conversing about their woodland business.  I can imagine being really endeared to them if I were a bit younger.  Good stuff.

I actually liked "Squonk" better than "How to Talk to Girls at Parties," the Hugo-nominated story Steve couldn't get...

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Kaa

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Reply #7 on: June 08, 2007, 02:25:29 AM
Children, feh!

This is quite simply a wonderful story told wonderfully.  It's got it all: dragons, wizards, talking animals, quests, puzzles, angry robins, hats...and such wonderful (I'm overusing the word, but...I can't help myself) turns of phrase.
Quote
"Squonk felt the Cheepideeps flinging more devastating silence his way." . . . "The Cheepideeps now bore down with a tight, penetrating silence that pierced his head." . . . "The Cheepideeps were piling on the heavy, crushing silence."
That's about when the tears started to flow.  It reminded me of Douglas Adams:
Quote
She waited in the other room, firmly reading a book.

I haven't enjoyed a story this much in a long time.  I mean, I always have fun with Escape Pod stories--it's what brings me back week after week, after all: the fun.  I find myself smiling or even--dare I say it?--chortling with amusement as I listen to quite a few of them.  But I have never--and I can say this with authority, being myself--giggled until I cried while driving home from work.  I was a danger to other drivers.  Luckily, it's Atlanta, so no one noticed.

Wonderful story, and performed wonderfully by Steve and Anna.  Wonderful!

More Squonk! More! MORE! :)

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eytanz

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Reply #8 on: June 08, 2007, 02:56:50 AM
After thinking of it a bit, I decided the only thing I didn't like about the story is the ending. Not because it was bad, but because (spoiler warning) with all the other animals learning to become wizards, I feel that it might be harder to write a sequel that focuses on the Wendel/Squonk interaction as neatly as the first two stories did, and I really love how the two characters play off each other.

Still, when my reaction to a story is "The only thing I didn't like is that I might not get more of the same", I know it's a winner :)



madjo

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Reply #9 on: June 08, 2007, 10:01:22 AM
I really love this story..

Made me wish I had kids to read it to. :)



sayeth

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Reply #10 on: June 08, 2007, 12:56:08 PM
Excellent!

I find it interesting that things I would criticize about regular stories, I find charming in children’s stories. For example, some degree of predictability is part of the set of conventions for children’s stories. This isn’t because children are stupid. Instead, making stories slightly predictable is a subliminal part of teaching children to read critically. So when a kid listening to this story thinks, “Ah! Slowfingers could help Squonk get the flowers,” he is rewarded a few minutes later with the confirmation of his inferences.  The process of inference from a story and testing of that inference is what much science fiction attempts to do for adults, but in the world of SF, the rules of cause and effect can be alien and the inferences can be difficult. Although it’s not what the “science” part of SF is supposed to refer to, the hypothesis testing in science fiction is what makes it enjoyable for me, so much more so than the technology.

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ClintMemo

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Reply #11 on: June 08, 2007, 02:56:28 PM
I told my nine-year-old daughter that there was a new Squonk story.   She was stoked.

...and I loved the Raccoon.  :D

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DKT

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Reply #12 on: June 08, 2007, 03:58:36 PM
Children, feh!

This is quite simply a wonderful story told wonderfully.  It's got it all: dragons, wizards, talking animals, quests, puzzles, angry robins, hats...and such wonderful (I'm overusing the word, but...I can't help myself) turns of phrase.
Quote
"Squonk felt the Cheepideeps flinging more devastating silence his way." . . . "The Cheepideeps now bore down with a tight, penetrating silence that pierced his head." . . . "The Cheepideeps were piling on the heavy, crushing silence."
That's about when the tears started to flow.  It reminded me of Douglas Adams:
Quote
She waited in the other room, firmly reading a book.

More Squonk! More! MORE! :)

For me it was when Squonk asked, "What's a Prentice?"  I couldn't stop thinking "What's a Nubian?"

Yeah, I could definitley go for more of these stories :)


Swamp

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Reply #13 on: June 08, 2007, 09:04:27 PM
Of course, I loved the Squonk story!  I also thought having all of the forest animals wanting to be apprentices was a bit much, probably could have just left it at Squonk and the racoon.

But what I have to say is that I was so glad to hear Anna's voice back on EP.  We've missed you, girl!

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zagreus

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Reply #14 on: June 10, 2007, 12:17:49 AM
After hearing that I going to go back and re-listen to the first one

I LOVE SQUONK

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Thaurismunths

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Reply #15 on: June 10, 2007, 12:47:08 AM
Man did I enjoy this story.
Every bit as good as the first one.
I wish I were young enough to have this read to me as a bedtime story.

Afterthought:
So, Steve announced at the end of the cast that the new fantasy podcast has been named and staffed, does that mean that the next "Squonk" (because there will be a next Squonk) will be on there?
« Last Edit: June 10, 2007, 01:09:35 AM by Thaurismunths »

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eytanz

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Reply #16 on: June 10, 2007, 02:19:46 AM
Afterthought:
So, Steve announced at the end of the cast that the new fantasy podcast has been named and staffed, does that mean that the next "Squonk" (because there will be a next Squonk) will be on there?

Hmmm... A good question - but really, does it matter? I mean, who here - especially anyone who enjoyed this story - is seriously considering not subscribing to the new fantasy podcast?



Simon Painter

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Reply #17 on: June 11, 2007, 08:52:01 AM
A hefty dose of silly fun :)  There's not too much more to say, it does pretty much everything a story should, the characters are well defined (bearing in mind it's a kid's story), the plot moves along well and most importantly, it's entertaining!

I'm rather looking forward to the third part.

I am a little curious to know whether Squonk was named for the song or the creature, though.

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snrfn93

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Reply #18 on: June 12, 2007, 01:15:27 AM
After having a terrible day dealing with airports, bus drivers and incompetent TSA people, this turned my day around.   I can't wait to order the stories in print to give my 7 year - old son to read.



Russell Nash

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Reply #19 on: June 12, 2007, 09:08:29 AM
I smiled the whole time, except when he was sad.

Now I can make my boy a tape with a Squonk on each side.



clichekiller

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Reply #20 on: June 12, 2007, 06:15:54 PM
I love hard SF.  I love Asimov, Clark, Heinlein, Niven and Varley.  Yet this story is probably my most favorite of the year hands down.  What an enjoyable tale that even us "adults" can love.  His style reminds me very much of Piers Anthony's Xanth and Douglas Adams combined, and I paraphrase, "Squonk found that pulling up a pine tree was as simple as well a dragon pulling out a pine tree" and other gems had be in stitches.  I laughed my entire drive into work.  Thanks for continuing to provide such elective stories that include the likes of  The House Beyond Your Sky and this.

PS
I took Steve's warning at the beginning seriously but as I don't have any children it was necessary to regress my mental state sufficiently to capture the full wonder of this tale; luckily I'm a big child trapped in an adult's body so it wasn't too hard. 



ajames

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Reply #21 on: June 12, 2007, 11:09:30 PM
When "The Boy Who Yelled Dragon" came on Escapepod, I listened to it with my 4 year old.  He liked it so much that listening to children-centered podcasts has become part of his nightly routine [pseudopod storynory has been a great source of these types of podcasts]

So I had high hopes for this podcast.  When I asked my now 5 year old what he thought of it, he said he didn't know.  When I tried a more direct approach, he said 'I told you daddy, I need to think about it awhile."

So I'm not sure what this young critic will have to say.  However, he did say he liked the racoon, and when I told him there was another Squonk story we could listen to, he immediately said he wanted to hear it, so I think the review will be favorable.



FNH

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Reply #22 on: June 14, 2007, 07:49:57 PM
However, he did say he liked the racoon, and when I told him there was another Squonk story we could listen to, he immediately said he wanted to hear it, so I think the review will be favorable.

I thought the Racoon character was great.  He was simply characterised by Squonk, and I loved the way he then lived up to that description.  It was neat.


Thaurismunths

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Reply #23 on: June 15, 2007, 10:54:21 AM
I'm a fan of Chipchipticktick. Best line: "Nopethissoundslikefunwannaseewhathappensnext!"

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Listener

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Reply #24 on: June 15, 2007, 12:00:03 PM
I don't think I really liked this story very much.  It's not that it was badly told or badly-written.  And there were some funny bits (which others have mentioned).  But it had that heavy-handed morality that some kids' stories have (in places... especially referencing the treatment of Slowfingers) and it didn't make me think.  Remembering the sorts of stories I read as a kid, I might still not have liked it, but then I was reading Star Trek novels at age eight, so maybe I'm the wrong person.

I guess I just didn't like it.  It wasn't what I was expecting, and it wasn't the sort of thing I would normally read.

Anyway, it's just one week, and like I tell my friends when they don't laugh at my jokes, "they can't all be home runs.  Sometimes you don't even get on base."

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Russell Nash

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Reply #25 on: June 15, 2007, 12:23:32 PM
it wasn't the sort of thing I would normally read.

That's part of why I liked it.  My kids aren't old enough yet for a story like this.  I saw it as a relief from reading Dr. Seuss.

When I leave home to walk to school
Dad always says to me
Marco keep your eyelids up
and see what you can see

But when I tell him where I've been
and what I think I've seen
He looks at him and sternly says
You're eye sight's much to keen

Stop telling such outlandish tales
Stop turning minnows into whales




BlairHippo

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Reply #26 on: July 03, 2007, 09:54:56 PM
Wow.

Thank you.  Thank you all so very much.  The Squonk stories are great fun to write, and I'm thrilled they've found such an appreciative audience.

(And those of you who didn't care for it, thank you for taking the time to respond.  Negative feedback is often quite valuable, however much my ego would prefer I ignore it in favor of the praise. :) )

There will very definitely be more Squonk stories.  And if I keep writing them well enough for Steve to buy them, you'll hear them on Escape Pod.  (Or its fantasy sibling -- that's not my decision.   :) )

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Reply #27 on: July 04, 2007, 03:23:55 AM
I very much enjoy these stories as well. 


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Reply #28 on: July 05, 2007, 04:27:55 PM
I am a little curious to know whether Squonk was named for the song or the creature, though.

Actually, I'm not familiar with either.

I think I first heard the word in deference to Pittsburgh's Squonk Opera.  It stuck in my head as a silly noise that a dragon hatchling might make, and that's how it found its way to Mrs. Tweedle-Chirp's lad.



robertmarkbram

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Reply #29 on: July 07, 2007, 06:01:32 AM
I and my step-daughter have listened to both Squonk stories now, and we both love them!

I love the ridiculous humour in these stories, like Terry Pratchet: sometimes it just comes right out and surprises you into laughing.. Chipchipticktick being the prime example!

And .. not moving his head too much unless the tree wizard's hat falls off!

P.M. Butler - you should write kids books!

The narration by Stephen and Anna Eley was so funny as well. Is Alana's voice always that high? :)

Rob
:)


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Reply #30 on: July 09, 2007, 08:02:49 PM
Wow.

Thank you.  Thank you all so very much.  The Squonk stories are great fun to write, and I'm thrilled they've found such an appreciative audience.

I hope I'm not too late to pile on the praise.  I don't have anything creative or unusual or insightful to say, but I do love these stories, and my daughter loves them too.  In fact, the Squonk stories and the Resnick dragon story are the only ones my daughter has been able to listen to without rolling her eyes and telling me that she's bored.  Well done.

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JoeFitz

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Reply #31 on: August 20, 2007, 01:41:57 AM
I'll just add my post to list of praises for Squonk. The voice talent was very well done and I love the squirrel. Hope there are more to come. One thing is consistent about Escape Pod: variation. Variation of tone, subject, voice, structure, gravitas... Squonk is the sweet cherry on top of a pretty eclectic sundae of rusted robots, heart-breaking drama, ethical dilemma, superhero angst, magical mayhem, blood and guts, but it's not too saccharin, even by contrast.



Planish

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Reply #32 on: August 24, 2007, 02:41:52 AM
I find it interesting that things I would criticize about regular stories, I find charming in children’s stories. For example, some degree of predictability is part of the set of conventions for children’s stories. This isn’t because children are stupid. Instead, making stories slightly predictable is a subliminal part of teaching children to read critically. So when a kid listening to this story thinks, “Ah! Slowfingers could help Squonk get the flowers,” he is rewarded a few minutes later with the confirmation of his inferences.  The process of inference from a story and testing of that inference is what much science fiction attempts to do for adults, but in the world of SF, the rules of cause and effect can be alien and the inferences can be difficult. Although it’s not what the “science” part of SF is supposed to refer to, the hypothesis testing in science fiction is what makes it enjoyable for me, so much more so than the technology.

Hmm.. Now that I've read that, I'm more inclined to like this story. Yeah, the reader should be given enough such that they can either anticipate what might happen, or look back and see that all the clues were there after all. It was the opposite of what I didn't like about EP106: The House Beyond Your Sky.

I suppose having some "predictability" built into kids' stories, like having to overcome three related obstacles, and all that (Joseph) Campbellian archetypal hero stuff adds a bit of ritual to it, making it more comforting to hear, even if slightly scary stuff happens. You just know that the Third Billy Goat Gruff is going to open a can of whup-ass on that that Bridge Troll, but you're still curious to see exactly how it goes down.
 
I think what put me off while listening to Squonk the Apprentice was (sorry, Stephen and Anna) the exaggerated delivery. Sometimes it works (like when Robert Munsch reads his own work), sometimes it doesn't.

I might just start using "Stupid not-staying-on-my-head tree!" for a sig line. That absurdity was a high point for me, and still makes me chuckle.

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bolddeceiver

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Reply #33 on: August 26, 2007, 10:39:22 PM
I have no problem with childrens' lit; I am an aspiring educator and have enjoyed writing children's stories on more than one occasion.  And for all I know, this could have been a fine children's story.

I wouldn't know; I had to stop the episode after about three minutes of the gratingly obnoxious reading.  I wanted to give the story a chance, but the presentation was just too unbearable.



El Barto

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Reply #34 on: September 28, 2009, 06:20:57 PM
In a recent intro Steve mentioned that the Squonk stories seem to be everyone's absolute favorites -- and he wondered whether that was because many people were skipping them. 

I wanted to say yes that is exactly right or it is at least for me.   I'm not interested in dragons or in children's stories so when these come up from time to time I usually just skip them.

(The few I have listened to I did not like at all but concluded that it would be ridiculous for me to post a comment on a particular story.  After all, I was warned!)

I would love for there to be enough great sci-fi and fantasy focused on kids for there to be a whole podcast just for them.   In a few years my little guys will be ready.



Unblinking

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Reply #35 on: February 22, 2010, 05:40:33 PM
Not a bad story.  It had a lot of funny moments--why is it that squirrel characters are always the funniest of the bunch?  :)  The voicing on that was especially fun.

I liked the first one better for its originality--I'd never heard a dragon-raised-by-birds story.  But with that novelty worn off, this one just didn't seem to pack enough punch for me.  I'd probably feel differently if I had kids to play it to.



Unblinking

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Reply #36 on: February 23, 2010, 12:40:16 AM
But really, what happened to the content warnings?  I got kicked out of my car pool!  Friday was my day to pick the music and this was the story I picked.  "Another Squonk story," I thought, "I bet they'll get a laugh out of it."  Well it was going along well until Squonk swore and then it got deathly quiet.  It seemed to be an isolated incident at first, so I decided not to stop the playback.  Then everything was going well again until the foul-mouthed Mr. Cheepideep starting letting loose.  I couldn't hit Stop fast enough!  To make matters worse, I have a MRS. Cheepideep in the carpool, and of course tactless Mr. Grumblebum the badger had to go and ask her if the story was about her husband.  She shot me a killing glare like I'd been the one to say it.  Most of my co-workers have kids and I've been forbidden to visit any of  their houses for fear that I'll be a bad influence on their cubs or hatchlings!  "Sorry," they say, "once a kid learns words like that, it's nearly impossible to get them to stop saying it.  We can't risk having them get kicked out of daycare."

A children's story, indeed!  You, sirs and madams, should be ashamed of yourselves.



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Reply #37 on: March 02, 2010, 07:52:02 PM
But thank you Unblinking for that thoroughly entertaining account.... :D