OMFG

[jrderego]

BEWARE of people without kids.  They give the most obnoxious presents.  It's always stuff with lots of lights (not too bad) and lots of sounds.  The sounds are funny the first few times; are tolerable the next 15 minutes; will drive you up the wall, across the ceiling, and diving out the f*****g window after half an hour.  They are the devil's work.  At my kids' b-day parties everyone looks at the person who gave the loud toy to see how long it takes them to realize, they better run for their life.

With many of the sound effect toys you can just open them up and clip the wire leading to the speaker.

I don't say this often but, "PREACH IT BROTHER!!!!"

Noisy toys are a scourge upon mankind and those who give them as gifts should be shunned and isolated.

Here's a tip for the new dad too, get a teeny-tiny screwdriver set so you can remove the batteries from said noisy toys before you smash said noisy toys into bits.

And, avoid all LEAP products because:

1 - The are very noisy and have no volume control
2 - their volume is set at "compete with jet engine" levels
3 - the goddamn things vocally remind the kids that they aren't playing with them two or three minutes after they stop playing with them. We had a caterpillar one with alphabet letters for legs. Two minutes after Ian would push it away and start playing with something else the thing would cry out "THANKS FOR PLAYING WITH LEAP. GOOD BYE!" And, he'd immediately start playing with it again.

That toy lives at the dump now.

[jrderego]

Anyone else have any incredibly insensitive/funny things I can say to her during the labor or pregnancy?

This isn't something you can say, really.  More advice I heard from a guy I worked with.  He said after she has the baby (I mean RIGHT after) DON'T look down there.  You'll be curious to see how that thing fit out of there.  Don't.  He said everything is inside out and the image of that will flash into your mind ever time you see it from then on.

I've got no firsthand knowledge of this, but it's one of the first things this guy told me when he heard I was getting married.  Must be important.  I've got more stuff that I can't remember right now.  People always give me unsolicited advice for some reason.  Maybe I look like I need it or something.  I'll let you know when I remember something else.

Dude, your buddy is a wuss.  I was there helping out for every second of my daughter's birth and, to be frank and honest, I thought it was the coolest thing I've ever seen in my life.  This is where people come from.  It's beautiful, and, to me, seeing firsthand what sex leads to make sex even cooler, gives it a pleasant sentimental aspect that it didn't have before.

This is how life happens, people.  Embrace it.  Birth is cool.

Number two on the way in December.  Looking forward. 

I was there helping in every way I could when we had Ian and I watched the whole shebang from crowning to the tug of war to get the placenta out with a calm cool clinical detachment that would make a robot jealous.

When we had Meg, I passed out as she exited the birth canal.

First time, "interesting and cool, never seen that before!"
Second time "Oh god the blood!!!!" THUNK.

[jrderego]

About pets...

What we did was bring home blankets and swadeling stuff from the hospital that had "Scent of Ian" on it for our pets (not surprisingly, the horse didn't care either way), which is what the nurses told us to do.

That worked without any real problems for us.

[oddpod]

i was thare for the birth of mine
it was bloody fantastic

[Russell Nash]

BEWARE of people without kids.  They give the most obnoxious presents.  It's always stuff with lots of lights (not too bad) and lots of sounds.  The sounds are funny the first few times; are tolerable the next 15 minutes; will drive you up the wall, across the ceiling, and diving out the f*****g window after half an hour.  They are the devil's work.  At my kids' b-day parties everyone looks at the person who gave the loud toy to see how long it takes them to realize, they better run for their life.

With many of the sound effect toys you can just open them up and clip the wire leading to the speaker.

I don't say this often but, "PREACH IT BROTHER!!!!"

Noisy toys are a scourge upon mankind and those who give them as gifts should be shunned and isolated.

Here's a tip for the new dad too, get a teeny-tiny screwdriver set so you can remove the batteries from said noisy toys before you smash said noisy toys into bits.

I have the Leatherman Blast, because it comes with tiny screwdriver heads, just for this purpose.  I can also get into the toy and cut the speaker wires and get out.  All with one tool That is always on my hip.  I don't always take out the batteries, because the lights don't bother me.

About pets...

What we did was bring home blankets and swadeling stuff from the hospital that had "Scent of Ian" on it for our pets (not surprisingly, the horse didn't care either way), which is what the nurses told us to do.

That worked without any real problems for us.

That helps a lot.  The important thing to remember I guess is that the pet was there first and it's getting shoved off its pedestal.  Be kind.

[BrandtPileggi]

I'm hearing a lot of support for speaker wire cutting here. Huh... Is there anyway to retrofit any of these toys to play Jamiroquai every time the sound is activated? OOO!! Peraps my own voice spewing out leet-speak? That would NEVER get old. Not EVER.

[BrandtPileggi]

I think I forgot to say, Congratulations Mr. Tweedy!! Who else is currently expecting?

[Russell Nash]

I'm hearing a lot of support for speaker wire cutting here. Huh... Is there anyway to retrofit any of these toys to play Jamiroquai every time the sound is activated? OOO!! Peraps my own voice spewing out leet-speak? That would NEVER get old. Not EVER.

I think that was me twice.

[Listener]

My daughter loves her noisemaking toys, and really, we just tune it out or joke about it.  It's not actually annoying.  Beats the hell out of her getting mad because she's not getting any reaction when she pushes a button or something.

[DKT]

Oh, congrats, Tweedy!  I almost missed that.

[Planish]

The thing that impressed me the most, especially for the first one, was the bonding that occurs when you first hold them.

Up to that point, you know intellectually that you going to bond with "it" somehow, but it still feels (in the back of your head) like you're just signing up for a really long-term baby-sitting job.

At that "first contact" moment though, BOOM, you suddenly know why parent birds will take on wolves and mountain lions to protect their young.

It's still a wonderful mystery, 27 years later.

[BrandtPileggi]

So you're not supposed to trip up the child as you run away so that the werewolves get distracted with them? I have so much to learn 

[Mr. Tweedy]

Texas is werewolf country?  Geez, I knew you had crazy bugs down there, but...

It seems like most of the regulars here are dads posting from work.  Don't know if that means anything (except that we all have jobs that absorb less than 100% of our attention), but it's interesting.

[BrandtPileggi]

Ha! Great observation Mr. T

[wakela]

It seems like most of the regulars here are dads posting from work.  Don't know if that means anything (except that we all have jobs that absorb less than 100% of our attention), but it's interesting.

Hmmm, I wonder why the "working" dads are spending so much time on the internets and the "non-working" moms aren't...

We don't mind the noisy toys.  In fact Junior has a couple of song books that actually play the songs, which she really enjoys.  She will press a button to make the song go, walk away and play with something else, and when the song is done (like a minute and a half later) she walks back to the book and presses another button.  Some of the songs have accompanying hand gestures, and she likes to do them, too.  So I think these kinds of things are healthy...I also realize that these probably weren't the toys you guys were referring to.   

And I noticed something interesting about my new little 1.5-year-old.  She has so many toys that do something when you push a button, that whenever she gets any new toy, the first thing she does is press all the button-like parts to make it somehow go.   I know I had some push-button toys as a kid, but not nearly as many as she does, and many of her toys have chips in them.  I don't really have any conclusions to draw, just that I thought it was a cool sci-fi-y thing.  Also, when she gets a new stuffed animal she immediately pokes it in the eye over and over again. 

[wakela]

Did any of you other parents teach your kids baby sign language?  We did a half-assed job with it, but we got the kid communicating with us a little.  She knows the sign for "more", and a different sign for "breastfeed," and a sign for "table" which implies "get the hell off of it." 

I wonder if she is getting sick of me whacking her with a pillow and then tickling her...
"more"
Guess not.  [whack]

Ideally you could get your kid to tell you if it's hungry or hot or cold or has a tummy ache or is sleepy or bored instead of just screaming.  And she enjoys signing the animals and things in her picture books. 

[Listener]

Did any of you other parents teach your kids baby sign language?  We did a half-assed job with it, but we got the kid communicating with us a little.  She knows the sign for "more", and a different sign for "breastfeed," and a sign for "table" which implies "get the hell off of it." 

I wonder if she is getting sick of me whacking her with a pillow and then tickling her...
"more"
Guess not.  [whack]

Ideally you could get your kid to tell you if it's hungry or hot or cold or has a tummy ache or is sleepy or bored instead of just screaming.  And she enjoys signing the animals and things in her picture books. 

We didn't really have the time for that.  At age one, Alyssa now points toward the thing she wants, food-wise, and gives a humongous jerk of the head to the side when she wants to say "no, I don't want that food/drink".  Otherwise we sort of just figure it out.

[ClintMemo]

We didn't really have the time for that.  At age one, Alyssa now points toward the thing she wants, food-wise, and gives a humongous jerk of the head to the side when she wants to say "no, I don't want that food/drink".  Otherwise we sort of just figure it out.

Just an observation/warning - I have several friends who have kids with speech issues because they continuously enabled their kid's alternative-to-speech activities.  When "point and grunt" is good enough to get them what they want, they have a hard time getting beyond it.  I wouldn't worry at one years old and every child is different, of course, but at some point, you have to stop and say "say 'table',  'Tay bull', 'taaayyy  buulllll' "

On the other hand, when my daughter was born, we never 'baby-talked' to her (you know, goo-goo, gaa-gaa) and we expressly forbid anyone else to do it either. We spoke to her often and always in plain language.  When she was a year old, we would do flash cards. She could identify and pronounce "Rhinoceros" (and I have the video to prove it )

[Mr. Tweedy]

It seems like most of the regulars here are dads posting from work.  Don't know if that means anything (except that we all have jobs that absorb less than 100% of our attention), but it's interesting.

Hmmm, I wonder why the "working" dads are spending so much time on the internets and the "non-working" moms aren't...

Dude, being a mom is work.  Nothing pisses me off more than hearing motherhood disparaged as some kind of silly non-job for women too dumb to cut it at the office.  (Not that you were saying that, but lots of people do, especially "educators.")  Motherhood is hard work and very important, and, honestly, I'd say her job is both harder than mine and more significant.  I cram text into little boxes.  She's molding the character of a new person.

Now I've gone and depressed myself with the meaninglessness of my job...

It doesn't mean moms aren't online, just that there aren't many making posts in sci-fi related forums.  My wife wouldn't spend much time here; not her game.

[Listener]

We didn't really have the time for that.  At age one, Alyssa now points toward the thing she wants, food-wise, and gives a humongous jerk of the head to the side when she wants to say "no, I don't want that food/drink".  Otherwise we sort of just figure it out.

Just an observation/warning - I have several friends who have kids with speech issues because they continuously enabled their kid's alternative-to-speech activities.  When "point and grunt" is good enough to get them what they want, they have a hard time getting beyond it.  I wouldn't worry at one years old and every child is different, of course, but at some point, you have to stop and say "say 'table',  'Tay bull', 'taaayyy  buulllll' "

Oh, we talk to her all the time and work on speech stuff.  She does understand some of what we're saying; she just can't actually talk yet.

[wakela]

It seems like most of the regulars here are dads posting from work.  Don't know if that means anything (except that we all have jobs that absorb less than 100% of our attention), but it's interesting.

Hmmm, I wonder why the "working" dads are spending so much time on the internets and the "non-working" moms aren't...

Dude, being a mom is work.  Nothing pisses me off more than hearing motherhood disparaged as some kind of silly non-job for women too dumb to cut it at the office.  (Not that you were saying that, but lots of people do, especially "educators.")  Motherhood is hard work and very important, and, honestly, I'd say her job is both harder than mine and more significant.  I cram text into little boxes.  She's molding the character of a new person.

Now I've gone and depressed myself with the meaninglessness of my job...

It doesn't mean moms aren't online, just that there aren't many making posts in sci-fi related forums.  My wife wouldn't spend much time here; not her game.

In case anyone misread my post, I agree with Mr. Tweedy on this.   I was implying that dads have time to wax philosophical about the finer points of parenting when we are not busy listening to science fiction stories, but the moms all seem to be busy with the kids. 

[wakela]

Just an observation/warning - I have several friends who have kids with speech issues because they continuously enabled their kid's alternative-to-speech activities.  When "point and grunt" is good enough to get them what they want, they have a hard time getting beyond it.  I wouldn't worry at one years old and every child is different, of course, but at some point, you have to stop and say "say 'table',  'Tay bull', 'taaayyy  buulllll' "

Yeah, that's a good point, and I've heard similar anecdotal evidence.  On the other hand, junior might end up being a better communicator because the language parts of the brain starts getting stimulated without having to wait for their little mouths to catch up.  On the other other hand, the speech parts get stimulated later because junior can already communicate with sign language.  Who knows.  I haven't seen any studies on this.  Ten years from now it probably won't matter too much.  But for now sign language means less stress and less crying, so I like it.

[Planish]

On the other hand, when my daughter was born, we never 'baby-talked' to her (you know, goo-goo, gaa-gaa) and we expressly forbid anyone else to do it either. We spoke to her often and always in plain language.  When she was a year old, we would do flash cards. She could identify and pronounce "Rhinoceros" (and I have the video to prove it )

We didn't baby-talk to our two boys either. We used the big words, when big words expressed the right meaning. Now  (25-ish years later) they are quite articulate and they never had any problem reading.

I used to read from Time magazine to them, way before they had much of a vocabulary. It wasn't with the idea that they would absorb Current Affairs by osmosis or anything, it was just to trick them into thinking that I was reading a story to them for their entertainment. Which I was, in a way. It helped to use funny voices and sound effects, even if the story was about some terrible conflict in a third-world region, and to make eye contact as you say something emphatically now and then.

[Russell Nash]

Something to look forward to.

A couple of weeks ago I got to spend the night in the hospital with my two-year-old daughter.  She and her brother were riding their bikes in the park.  He went racing down a hill and she went racing after him.  The scream of, "slow down!" fro dad was totally ignored.  She got going to fast, wobbled, and fell flat on her face.  Bike helmets are a wonderful thing.  No internal head injury, but she got her nose and lip scraped up and her teeth cut into her lip.  Anyway lots of blood and screaming.

Fast forward.  Called Grandmom to watch the boy and took her to the ER.  They kept her overnight to check for an abdomen injury.  We came home the next day, but she wanted me to hold her hand all night while she was hooked up to the monitor.

She's absolutely fine now.  No internal injuries of any sort and her scrapes are all gone except for a little raw patch on her lip that will be gone in a week or so. 

It's all part of the package of being a parent.  Enjoy!

[Zathras]

There should be horror stories about what Barny inflicts on you -- such deep psychological terrors. 

I was lucky that my daughter never got the Barney thing.  Her favorite show was "Blues Clues."

My youngest lad was in to Teletubbies and got me hooked also.  It's like this crazy sci-fi deal along the lines of The Time Machine.  You've got these 4 innocent beings (like Eloi) living in this advanced dome containing technology they simply couldn't have created.  Speakers come out of the grassy landscape and make announcements and they have this super advanced cognitive vacuum cleaner named Noo-Noo which cleans up after our four heros.  Food is dispensed through a machine in this crazy dome house.  You never actually see who created this technology or whose voice is coming from the speakers (Morlocks?).  Anyway, the tubbies run around all day and show video clips on televisions located on their stomachs.   It's the craziest damn trip.   

This show was in the news a few years ago because Jerry Falwell said that the purple tubbie named Tinky-Winky was gay because he carried a purse and his symbol was a triangle. 

OK....... it's just a stupid kid show.    

Congrats father's to be!