Inventive deaths; Inspired by an actual posting

[Russell Nash]

I would venture to say Death by Teacup is one of the most inventive deaths ever.

If you died this way... and was not already dead... you'd die of shame.

When killing with a teacup, is it appropriate to keep your pinky extended.

its simply good manners!  very lowly to not extend the pinky, its below us... for the peasants.

hmm maybe there should be an 'inventive death' thread... where we try to think of the best examples of new ways to die.

I know a good idea when Bdoomed has it.  He gets to think a lot when he's sweeping up the EP celebration thread.

What are the most inventive deaths you can think of?  Movies, books, TV, your own mind, murders you've committed.  Let's see how weird this can get.

[Zathras]

Death by Wonder Twin powers.  Perhaps getting run over by Zan in the form of an ice sled or mauled by Jayna in the form of a mountain lion.  An even more horrific death would be strangulation by a rabid Gleek. 

[FNH]

A man is on his knees in the bathroom.  He ponders the panel on the side of the bath.  He wants to paint a stripe along its length.  He doesn't have a suitable straight edge.  Looking in the toolbox he spys his metal extendable ruler.  A piece of tape at each end of the bath holds the ruler in place.  He paints the line. Goes to stand... slips to the left and forwards against the bath. His left hand dislodges the ruler, his neck is pushed against the ruler as it retracts.  The sharp metal edge of the ruler slices the artery on the side of his neck as it retracts at speed. 

Death by Ruler.

[Bdoomed]

I know a good idea when Bdoomed has it.  He gets to think a lot when he's sweeping up the EP celebration thread.

youuuuuuuuuuu.

Death by Wonder Twin powers.  Perhaps getting run over by Zan in the form of an ice sled or mauled by Jayna in the form of a mountain lion.  An even more horrific death would be strangulation by a rabid Gleek. 

rofl

how about death by the power of heart? (Captain Planet)
that would be pretty embarrassing at the pearly gates.
"so, you died by.... the power of heart?  is that even possible?"
"dont rub it in..."

[bolddeceiver]

I think way the punk-looking guy in the first episode of Dead Like Me went -- slip on a banana peel, then neck snapped by revolving door -- was pretty good.  I mean bad, but good in the inventive sense.

[Heradel]

Man, angry at the world for various reasons, throws a pocketful of change in the air in frustration. A lightning bolt intercepts said change on its path back to ground. Man feels the pitter-patter of molten metal burning  before the light from the bolt fades to afterimage.

[bolddeceiver]

Man, angry at the world for various reasons, throws a pocketful of change in the air in frustration. A lightning bolt intercepts said change on its path back to ground. Man feels the pitter-patter of molten metal burning  before the light from the bolt fades to afterimage.

Why would lightning strike ungrounded metal?

[Heradel]

The coins intersect the bolt, not are hit by it. Let's say the bolt grounds into a tree or cat.

Never said the death was a probable one.

[Holden]

The short-lived sperm whale in the Hitchhiker series had a unique death for a whale...the petunias too, for that matter.

[Bdoomed]

aaah yes, the whale and bowl of petunias... poor soul, those petunias.  killed what, 5, more times by Dent?  that was one of the best roundabouts in the entire series.

hmm about every death in any Final Destination movie is pretty inventive... tho HIGHLY improbable.

i like the fireworks hitting the sign, which falls down and splits the guy in half (FD3) or the train running over a broken street sign, which then flies out and splits the guy's head from his body (FD...1?)

[Leon Kensington]

Man, thinking it would make a great gift for his girlfriend picks up a queer green ring off the ground.  What he doesn't realize is that it, or rather now was, connected to an anti-personel mine.  BOOM!

[Russell Nash]

Flanders wife on The Simpsons.  Death by race car tire flying into the stands.

[Holden]

Another strange death from Hitchhiker:

[quote}Vogon poetry is of course, the third worst in the universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their poet master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning" four of his audience died of internal haemorrhaging[/quote]

Death by poetry.

[Bdoomed]

rofl

[Zathras]

Another strange death from Hitchhiker:

[quote}Vogon poetry is of course, the third worst in the universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their poet master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning" four of his audience died of internal haemorrhaging

Great stuff........I've got to re-read the books again. 

That racing car in the stands death is inventive but not that rare.....every once in a while you hear about people getting killed by flying tires or parts, or by out of control racing cars.   Hurts a bit more that a baseball or hockey puck.

[bolddeceiver]

Flying racecar tires isn't that inventive, and besides, it's not how Maude Flanders died.  She was knocked from the stand by rolled-up t-shirts fired from cannons.  Get your Simpsons right. ;P

[Heradel]

If my memory serves me well, flying race car tires have killed a surprising number of people at NASCAR events. Here's an AP story from '98:

ASSOCIATED PRESS 
BROOKLYN, July 27: Three spectators were killed the first fan deaths at a major race in the United States in more than a decade and six were injured by flying debris from a one-car crash at the US 500 yesterday at Michigan speedway.
A tire and some suspension pieces from Adrian Fernandez's car flew into the fourth-turn grandstand, killing two people immediately. A third person could not be resuscitated.

[Bdoomed]

choking on a pretzel
...NO THATS NOT A REFERENCE TO ANYONE IN PARTICULAR! wait... yes it is.

[Leon Kensington]

A viagra beer mix.  A fun end.  Kinda, maybe...

[wherethewild]

Getting hit by a 20-lb cheese rolling down a hill which is being chased by a bunch of drunks, primarily Australian and New Zealand tourists.

Ok, as far as I know no one´s actually DIED by it, but there have been injuries when a ruddy great cheese hits you doing high speeds. So it is only a matter of time......

http://www.cheese-rolling.co.uk/

[FNH]

I was under a table once wearing a baseball cap.  As I was coming out I started to come up too soon. The Cap had a button/stud on top.  This hit the table and was driven into the top of my head. 

Pain.

Didn't die.  Just felt like it.

[Russell Nash]

That racing car in the stands death is inventive but not that rare.....every once in a while you hear about people getting killed by flying tires or parts, or by out of control racing cars.   Hurts a bit more that a baseball or hockey puck.

But how many times have you seen it in fiction?

And Bolddeceiver is right.  That wasn't how Maude bought it anyway.  I can't watch the Simpsons here.  It's just not as good in German.

[Leon Kensington]

Sticking a trailer hitch lock into a car's cigarette lighter.  I did this when I was 5 and was told that I should have died but the car's fail safes worked perfectly.

[Planish]

My favourite death from "Six Feet Under" was the one that started out with a bunch of semi-stoned guys inflating a lot of inflatable ...er... lifesized unclothed dolls with helium, to be released inside a building where thare was going to be a convention for porn and sex toys. They stuff them all into the back of a truck under a net, and drive off to the venue. Part way there, the net comes loose and all the dolls go floating up into the sky. Meanwhile, a lady driving out of a shopping mall parking lot sees the naked "bodies" floating up into the bright sunlight and thinks "Praise Jesus, it's the Rapture! Take me too, Lord!". She becomes inattentive of the traffic, with her hands up and eyes closed, and gets broadsided by a truck.

[Leon Kensington]

That's genious!