I always get worried when a writer uses the present tense, I've only very rarely ever seen it used effectively, it usually comes accross as airy and pretentious as, I'm afraid, is the case here.
There appears to be just about no plot present in this story, the most interesting bits appear at the beginning, which drop hints as to the origin of the Loch Ness Monster, but all this is soon disregarded for about 15 minutes of a Mike-Resnick-Style lovable monster thinking an awfull lot before spending time with an old woman on a boat, I almost expected the monster to surface looking like a Teddy Bear
Since the dying old lady seems to be the focus of the story, I think it would have been far more interesting to follow her from the beginning, telling of her various attempts through the year to find the monster, which would culminate in the events shown in this story. Though this being the case, it would be more effective to keep the monster almost utterly mysterious.
The other option would probably be to tell far more of the monster's life story and cut the old woman out all together. As it is we get something that's neither fish nor fowl: two competing storylines and barely an inch of plot between them.
It's a real shame, there were a few elements within this story that felt worthy of exploration.
Simon Painter
Shropshire, UK